Running 2 Fourty

Back to School-The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

2010-08-19T22:02:00.002-04:00

Have you ever seen that Staples Commercial with the father dancing through the store to the song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"? The kids look miserable and he is riding the cart back and forth with unbridled joy over the fact that his kids are going back to school! I love that guy! I love that commercial! I love that the kids are going back to school. Now before you call DHS and say I'm a bad mommy, let me make one thing clear....I love summer vacation. Michaela comes home, we have lots of family fun, we roast marshmallows and catch fireflies....quite frankly, we are a goddamn Norman Rockwell Painting. But my mid August, I am ready to get back to reality to be honest. I am a girl who needs structure, and schedules and organization...I thrive on it. The summer vacation is a little too loosy goosey for me. We don't have to set the alarm clocks because their's no "late bell" to worry about. We don't have to plan our time to the minute because there are no school board meetings, or play practice, or homework to worry about. Now, that's fine for a while, but right now...I am ready to bring back the freaking structure.
During the school year, I feel disciplined and controlled, operating a in a closed loop system. Same schedule every day with very little distortion. During the summer, we are like a bunch of gypsies, having way to much fun, without a care in the world for bedtimes, schedules etc. So I say, stop the madness! Get these kids back to school. They start next Wednesday. We have all our school supplies and we are ready. And although I didn't dance through the store with unbridled joy while we shopped....I could certainly identify with the feeling.
Welcome Back to School Kids! It's gonna be a great year!

Vacation.....All I Ever Wanted!

2010-08-17T20:16:00.002-04:00

I went back to work today after 10 days of vacation.....talk about shell shock. Why is it that leaving for vacation and coming back are so stressful? It's crazy, you spend a whole week before getting ready, making sure everything is completed so you don't leave anyone else with too much work while you are gone, then you get back and have to catch up on everything that didn't get done. Oy! Oh well, it was definitely worth it. The Parker's had a "Staycation" this year. We did several day trips in Maine, spent one weekend in NH at my folks and one weekend in New York visiting relatives and seeing some sights. Overall, it was a great time. Not really relaxing, but a great time nonetheless.
I think the highlight was definitely this last weekend in New York. We left Friday morning and took the Ferry from Bridgeport Connecticut to Port Jefferson Long Island. We then drove to my cousin Christy's house in Merrick. Of course at 5:00 PM on a Friday afternoon on Long Island, that meant 1.25 hours to go 32 miles. Fun! We hadn't been off the boat for 10 minutes before Mark, predictably said, "with all this traffic, why would anyone live here." Of course, I predictably answered, "because you can get good pizza, chinese food and bagels here and you can't get them in other places." He always looks at me kinda funny when I give him that response.
Anyway, off to Christy and Kevin's for lots of wine and of course, the aforementioned chinese food (the best egg rolls ever!). Saturday was a spectacular day. We spent the entire day at my Aunt Linda and Uncle Mike's house on the water in South Amityville. Glorious! Swimming, boating, wave running, all the joys that a house on the ocean can bring. But the highlight had to be on Saturday evening as we sat around the crab shack (their outdoor bar) and had copious cocktails while listening to some of the most random selections of music from my crazy cousin Michael's IPOD. Where else can you hear the Ting Tings, followed by Neil Diamond, followed by Gordon Lightfoot? I never ever thought I would see my dad singing along to "That's not my name!" Beautiful. It really is amazing how with our families, we get together so seldom, but when we do, it's always a hoot! Tons of fun.
Sunday morning came, and with a heavy head from the previous night's cocktails, the Parker's ventured to New York City. We found out several things on this trip to NYC. First, Bloomberg is really letting the city go to pot. It was much dirtier then we recalled from our previous visits which was really disappointing. We also learned that the Central Park Zoo is really cool, but also pretty stinky, especially the rainforest. We learned that the Penguins of Madagascar don't really solve problems and there isn't one name Rico (pity.). We learned that the economy is still thriving at FAO Schwarz and Toys R Us in Times Square where the Legos were flying off the shelves. We even visited the Barbie Palace at ToysRUs, where we purchased what we have dubbed "curiously gay Ken" because of his skinny jeans and mildly homosexual t-shirt. You can't find these toys in Maine folks!
After dinner at Sofia's on Sunday night, Mark took Matty back to the hotel and the girls and I had the highlight of our trip, we visited the newest Times Square attraction, POP TARTS World! An entire 3000 square foot store devoted to, you guessed it, Pop Tarts! This place was freaking fantastic. The girls went to the counter and ordered warmed pop tarts while I visited the Varietizer and procured a mixed variety of pop tarts. You go to a computer screen and pick your selection of flavors. Then a huge mechanical arm, pulls down your pop tarts and boxes them lovingly. It's like something out of Willie Wonka for crying out loud. They only cost three times what you would pay for pop tarts in the grocery store, but who the hell cares right? How often do you get to Pop Tarts World? I left with a bag full of Pop Tart's Gear and a much lighter wallet, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
On Monday, the party was over. We took Michaela to the airport for her trip back to Oklahoma for the school year. But, to be honest, I was so happy that our last week with her was spent together, as a family, having fun. We had tons of laughs, a lot of great food, good times with family and we had plenty of time to hug, cuddle and say I love you. In our busy crazy lives, that doesn't happen so often, so it really was the perfect vacation. And though we will miss Michaela, Thanksgiving is only 12 weeks away. I am thinking that we should take that week as vacation too, because Parker Family Vacations are so much fun!!!

The Nana Chronicles Part I.

2010-07-17T19:07:00.002-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about my Nana lately. Not quite sure why, but I find her in my thoughts very often. Now, there are a few of you who read this blog who knew Nana when she was alive, so I probably don't need to say anything else, but for the folks who never met her, I will likely need to elaborate on the woman that was "Nana Baby." Yes, she was my grandmother, maternal grandmother and probably one of the best individuals who ever walked this earth. She lived with us for most of my formative years in an "in law apartment" in our house. I always say I owe alot of my confidence and sense of humor from my dad, my determination and my sense of style from my mom, my tenacity from the fact that I was tortured by Jerry, Michael, Billy & Dennis for most of my early years. I really believe the rest of who I am and HOW I am, comes from Nana.
She was the first person I saw when I walked through the door from school in the afternoon and she was usually frying something in a cast iron pan, something unhealthy, something that her doctor had probably forbid her to eat, that she had somehow convinced herself that he had said that it was ok. "Oh, my cardiologist says I can have all the bacon I want." Uh huh--ok Nana right! She made the best potato omelet ever created, and I still make it to this day. It's one of Michaela's favorite. (see, I am passing Nana's legacy on to the next generation).
She was famous for her chocolate chip cookies and her baked clams. You knew Nana made them because her eyesight wasn't that great, so there was usually a little bit of butter wrapper that you might find as you dug into your eleventh baked clam. Everything she cooked, she showed me how to make it. I am sure that's where my love of cooking and food came from. It's probably also where my current large ASS comes from too. But that's ok, I wouldn't trade that legacy for anything.
Now, Nana and I had something special. We were kindred spirits, ya know. We liked nothing better than when the Miss Universe, Miss America or Miss USA pageant was on t.v. once a year. We would make a shitload of horsdouvres and park ourselves in front of the tv. She had me record the scores in a notebook so we could make our predictions for the top ten, top five etc. Nana, if she were still alive, would have LOVED American Idol and Dancing with the Stars! She was so ahead of her time. God, just writing that right now, makes me miss her like hell.
Nana could bullshit with the best of them. But she really couldn't bullshit me. For the last several years of her life, she was quite sick. Congestive heart failure was the culprit on many occasions, probably from all that bacon she was "allowed" to have. The Bedford EMS service were at our house on so many occasions, bringing Nana to the emergency room, we knew all the guys by name. Whenever Nana got sick, she would hem and haw about going to the ER, probably because she was afraid that she would never come home. She would put it off as long as she could, telling us she was ok and just needed to lay down for a bit. Sure enough, 2 hours later, when she was gurgling like crazy, she would finally consent to go to the hospital.
I remember one time when my parents were away, and Nana got sick. She was sitting there, having one of her usual episodes of breathlessness, trying to convince my brother and I that she was fine and she wasn't going to the hospital. Jerry, sat there for a while trying to reason with her. Me, I grabbed the old "Life Alert" panic button around her neck and hit the button and said "Nana, you are going!" OOOOOh was she pissed at me. I think she didn't speak to me for a few weeks after that. (nana could hold a grudge). But, I didn't care, because at least she was still around to be pissed. The alternative for me, was just too grim.
Fortunately, Nana was quite resilient and she pressed on. Through my formative high school years, when she passed judgment on every single one of my friends and when she tried to convince Jerry that if he got caught with beer, we would lose the house. (where the hell did she get this stuff?)
God, I have so many memories, that explains why this is only part I of my Nana Chronicles. Like I said, I have been thinking about her so much lately. I wonder if she would be proud of me (of course she would) but would she also judge me harshly for my overburdened, crazy life. She would have loved Mark and she would have come up with some fun nickname for him. She would think Matty was a "little devil" and Kayleigh and Michaela would be her "little bits." Oh, if only they could have known her. The good news is, Arlene gets more like her every day, so there's hope there. And I say that as the highest compliment in the world to my Mom.
Stay tuned friends.....more Nana stories are sure to follow.
Egads! Isn't that odd?

ORGANIC!

2010-05-05T20:37:00.003-04:00

The Parkers have gone Organic.....much to my family's chagrin. That's right, no more cheez doodles or oreos for this crowd. I think I am going to have a mutiny on my hands soon, but I am forging ahead because I feel it's for the greater good. As you know, I read that book, the Omnivore's Dilemma and it was all downhill from there. For the past month, we have been about 80% organic with a few contraband items still filling our pantry shelves, but I am happy to say, I have successfully expunged most of the offending items now and pretty much everything we have is free of pesticides and preservatives. So, are we starving on this twig and berry diet. That's a Hell No! So far this week we have had grass fed beef and wild caught shrimp with fingerling potatoes, grilled local pork chops with fresh broccoli, chicken fajitas with jasmine rice and tonight we had lobster and pasta with garlic butter. The Organic life is tasty, but, alas......expensive.
Now you know I am married to a wonderful man who is, rather cheap. So, you can imagine what is running through his head when I come home with my bounty of foodstuff from Whole Foods (or Whole Paycheck, as it's sometimes referred). I can see the numbers in his head "kaching, kaching!" as I unload fresh asparagus and free range chicken. Yikes! Now, I agree it's more expensive, but I think it's worth it. Since I ditched the processed food, I am already seeing an improvement in my psoriasis and I seem to have a little more energy. Now that might be psychosomatic, but really there's gotta be some benefit to eliminating all those additives *I hope! In an effort to be thrifty, I joined a CSA, because if you do the math, it's much cheaper to buy veggies that way since Organic veggies are so expensive at the Grocery Store (longer food chain too). That seemed to help Marker to breathe a little easier. Although I think I see his eye twitch occasionally when he sees all the Whole Foods bags. Tonight I heard him shout, "Did you really pay $4.00 for Bread Crumbs." Ok, so it's gonna be an uphill battle. Between the lack of pop tarts and white bread in the house to the increased grocery bill, the transition may be tough. But I am committed! Wish me luck!

Mother's Day

2010-05-04T21:25:00.002-04:00

So, Mother's Day is this weekend. I like this holiday (but then again, haven't we established I like all holidays). I love to celebrate motherhood. Of course, that makes sense, I am, after all, a "Mama." I love being a Mama...although about 30 minutes ago when every room I went into, my children followed, I wished for a few minutes peace..I really do love it. I am fortunate that my kiddos are so diverse in age. Michaela, being 15, is really growing up and we have these adult conversations that are sarcastic and judgmental and hilarious. Kayleigh at ten, is really just coming into her own with confidence and humor. Sure, she's a bit dramatic, but generally, she's a freaking hoot. Even when she's being a total goofball, which I of course enjoy as well. And Matty, well what can I say? He's my favorite, most annoying, star wars loving cuddle bug. I have already shared with many of you the hours of my life that I have lost discussing the finer points of the Clone Wars and the differences between Jengo Fett and Boba Fett. But I really wouldn't trade those conversations for anything. I know someday, they won't be that interested in chatting with me for hours on end and then what? Oh right, perhaps then, Mark and I will be able to have an uninterrupted conversation with....wait for it....EACH OTHER. Jeez, what the hell will we talk about? Perhaps now, when we have something to chat about, we should hold back and save it for when we're old. Oh, who am I kidding, I can't remember what I was supposed to tell him after dinner, forget about 15 years from now. That's right...15 years until Matty turns 21 years old. Doesn't that seem like forever? But, you know what? It's gonna fly by. And before you know it, they will be all grown up. And I will be sitting her on the Tuesday before Mother's Day hoping for a visit or a call or a card from the three amigos. So, this mother's day I am milking it Baby! We are going to Portland for the day and I am going to be showered with love from my kiddos. I sure am one of the most blessed people on the planet. Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow mommies! Enjoy the day!

Soldiers, God and the Fear of Flying

2010-03-06T12:12:00.002-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE to fly. I am not a good flyer at all. I have always hated the whole deal, closed tight spaces--claustrophobia sets in; the whole take off thing--I am deathly afraid of heights; and don't even get me started about the turbulence, air rage, tiny seats and uppity stewardesses (sorry, flight attendants). The whole thing sucks! Now normally, I need to have a few drinks to get me through a flight, and even then, I am jumpy and nervous through the whole affair.
So, on Wednesday, I had to visit a client in Charlotte NC. I flew out of Bangor to Philadelphia then Philly to Charlotte. Since I was flying out of Bangor, that meant a very small plane (20 seats)....ugh! When I got to Bangor Airport to check in, I found out that the flight was delayed by about an hour due to "weather" nice. Faced with the prospect of 3 hours in the airport, I headed for the cocktail lounge to have a libation to take the edge off. While sitting there, I ran into some old pals from my days at MBNA and as luck would have it, they were also on my flight so now I had company for my 3 hour wait. We chatted and laughed and had a few glasses of wine, it was a great way to pass the time.
Did I mention the airport was filled with US Army soldiers. Apparently, Bangor Airport is a huge thoroughfare for soldiers deploying or returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. So, while we were there, a planeload of Kids (19- 21 yr olds) coming back from an 18 month tour in Iraq arrived. It was an amazing experience to be standing there when they got off the plane. Some kissed the ground, happy to be back on American soil. Some immediately called their families, some ran outside for a cigarette. I talked to some girls in the bathroom who said they had been on a plane for almost 24 hours and that they were so glad to be home so they could wash their hair with hot water. This to them was a luxury. The Troop Greeter team was there too....delivering messages to the kids from their family and helping others reach their loved ones. What a neat experience.

OK, so what does one have to do with the other? Well, after this experience (and a couple glasses of wine) I had an epiphany. I said to myself, "Jill, your such a wimp. Your life is so easy yet you get all jammed up by flight delays, and your stupid self absorbed fear of flying---SUCK IT UP" (what can I say, my inner voice is a bit bitchy) I got on the plane a short time later and for the first time in my life, I looked out the window during takeoff. Instead of freaking out, I thought about how blessed I am and how beautiful the world below is. I gave my fear to god and thanked him for blessing me with the wisdom to know that I am a total jackass about flying. I wasn't nervous. I wasn't scared...I was just at peace. During the next 2 days, I had 3 more flights and the peace remained. No fear, just the realization that God will call me home when he's ready for me and if it happens to be while I am on an airplane, so be it. I flew back into Bangor on Thursday night on the same small plane in extremely windy conditions. It was a bumpy approach to say the least. But I was cool as a cucumber....chatting with the "flight attendant" Robert (we're on a first name basis now) not even thinking about the horrible turbulence. I let the fear go....and flying was a hell of a lot more fun.

I am heading to Vegas on Monday night. Flying out of Boston on jet blue. And I will be calm, cool and collected. And if not, there's always the "in flight beverage service."

Valentine's Day....A Sickness

2010-02-14T17:00:00.002-05:00

I am a romance junkie. Love hearts, flowers, kisses, all things romantic. My husband, Mark, well he is.....a guy. Therefore, he is not a romance junkie. To add insult to injury, he is extraordinarily practical, so the whole Valentine's Day allure completely escapes him. Thus, the Parker's have a conundrum. Every year, around February 1st, we both start to get antsy. He sweats it out, knowing he will have to do something for V-Day, but not really wanting to, not because he doesn't love me, just because it's not how he is wired. Meanwhile, I am ready to freebase on romance. I picture beautiful roses and candlelit dinner and well, you can guess what else. So, since the two of us are on such different planes, this is clearly a recipe for disaster. So here we sit, on Valentine's day, with all this pressure. (mostly caused by me). This year, Mark sent me beautiful flowers to my office on Friday. A lovely gesture that made my day. Today, I planned a nice dinner, hoping we could put Matty to bed early and have a little grown up time....and a lot of wine! Alas, my husband absently invited a friend of ours over for dinner. Once this friend remembered it was Valentine's day (clearly they have no issues at their house) he politely declined. But, this brought up the whole V-Day issue again. I had told him several times about the dinner, yet he forgot. Even when our friend asked what I was making and I said Steak and Lobster, Mark was still saying to him, "Oh come over, it's gonna be good." Giving the fact that I was planning this for Valentine's day, no thought whatsover.
Now, here's the real problem. I get upset, but end up feeling so stupid because I have become "crazy valentine lady" whose husband bought her flowers and loves her and she's still not happy. What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I watch too many movies or hallmark card commercials. I don't know. Any ideas?

Incomplete Sentences

2010-02-09T20:17:00.002-05:00

My son is 6 years old.
That means, for the last several years, I have been unable to complete a sentence.
Every time, I try to say something remotely meaningful to my husband, he interrupts me.
I am always three quarters of the way through the sentence and he says, "um, mumma?" I usually say, "hold on sweetie, I am talking." I continue on, trying to complete my thought, which believe me is a challenge to my brain anyway. Three more words come out of my mouth and here he comes again "um mumma." (now he's a bit more insistent) To which, I say, "let me finish what I am telling daddy." Three more words and now he's downright pushy, "Mumma!" Finally, I say, "what Matthew?" His response......"Enzo has more snowtrooper legos than I do and the ATT Walker" (whatever the hell that is)

If he wasn't so stinkin cute, I would tell him that maybe he should move to Enzo's house since the Legos are clearly superior to ours and then he could drive his mom crazy for a while. But then, I remember I love him. Which is a good thing, because if I didn't, I would have sold him to strangers long before now.
So, for now, I long for the day when I can complete a thought uninterrupted. Oh what a joyous day that will be. I am thinking I should be good around 2020.
Now if this post doesn't get me that mother of the year award, nothing will.

Boston!

2010-02-06T11:53:00.003-05:00

I am on the train, on my way back from a trip to Boston with my pal Lisa. What a lovely time.
We shopped, we spa'd, we ate, we drank and we walked. All without worry about little feet keeping up and with nary a whine from anyone asking for chocolate milk. Last night, as aI sat at the hotel bar having a nightcap (at 9:00 PM) while I waited for Lisa to return from yet another trip to JCrew (what can I say, she had to get the pants in blue too) I was chatting with some people visiting boston for the "lumber products" convention. They were from Baltimore and had to extend their trip to Boston for a few days due to the blizzard in the Mid Atlantic region. I thought it was interesting that there were so many "wood people" in one place. One guy actually introduced himself by saying, "I'm Ted, I'm in Wood." Wow. I forget how many possible careers there are out there.
Lisa and I were fascinated that the hotel was also home to the "Black Nurses Conference" We were going to try to crash the cocktail hour, but we thought we might be obvious since we are neither nurses nor are we....black. That got us wondering. Is there a"White Nurses Conference?" Wouldn't there be an uproar over that? Oh well, whatever.
As we traveled from one end of Boston to the other, we frequented several taxis. Why do all taxis (or taxi drivers) smell vaguely of moroccan spices and BO? And who are they talking to on that bluetooth? Osama Bin Laden? Could be.
Last night, we had dinner with an old and dear friend of mine from high school. We went to the North End and ate fabulous prosciutto, and shrimp and bistecca alla fiorentina. Our main main Franco at La Dolce Vita treated us like Rock Stars.....love it. Top that with the Champagne and Pedicures at Melt and you have the makings of a perfect girls getaway. Meeting the "Wood People" was really just a bonus.
So now, I am on the train, heading back to reality. I am sure my hubby and kids will be thrilled to see me and I will cook them something yummy for dinnner and cuddle with Matty tonight. And this little getaway will hold me for awhile. In about 3 or 4 months, I will get the itch again. The stress will build and I will need a little "Jilly Time" The good news is, I have any number of like minded pals I can call and we can escape.

Sumo Pantyhose...."Baby, that's so not hot"

2010-02-03T21:22:00.002-05:00

Ya know what women love? Let me tell you what we love. We love when our husband says something to acknowledge our perceived beauty, sexiness, brains, ability to play scrabble, cooking prowess etc. That's what really melts our butter. You see, we normally plow through life at top speed, with barely a moment to comb our hair and put on lipstick so when our beloved hubby notices something special about us, it just makes us all warm and fuzzy inside.
And if the comment happens to indicate that we are hot, sexy, smokin, beautiful or reasonable facsimile? Forget it, you just made our day. The problem is, 99 minutes out of every hundred, we are the furthest thing from hot, sexy or smokin. Instead, we are "Mom making chocolate milk", or "wife balancing the checkbook", or "silly blogging wife who loves to read her own blather." And believe me friends, there ain't nothing hot about that.
So, because life gets in the way of our "inner hotness" those comments from our hubbies are often few and far between. And all too often, just as we are on the cusp of sexy, we quickly downshift back to reality and blow the whole moment.
Take this morning for example. My fabulous husband is dressed and ready to head out to work. I am sitting on the bed putting on a pair of pantyhose while he is pacing back and forth looking for his wallet, keys, phone, to do list, or any combination of the three. As I lean over to put on the pantyhose, he gets a cleavage shot and makes a comment like, "that's a nice cleavage shot babe, thanka that was hot." (that's all it takes, it really wasn't even a compliment, but we take what we can get). So I am feeling all aglow in my hotness and then I stand up and do, what can only be described as the "sumo move" to pull up my pantyhose. (every woman reading this knows exactly the move I am talking about) And my husband then says....."okay baby, don't ever do that in front of me again, because that was so not hot!" And so it was gone. For one moment I was channeling my inner J-Lo and the next thing you know, I am channeling Akebono. Definitely not hot!
Lesson learned ladies, lesson learned.

My problem with the Disney Channel (and Nickelodeon)

2010-01-30T22:47:00.002-05:00

Because I have children of a certain age, I get to watch a disproportionate amount of "thoughtful childrens programming." Most of this high quality entertainment is delivered to us thanks to the good people at the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Now let me first go on record by saying I LOVE PHINEAS AND FERB! I don't want anyone to think that it's about the network's themselves, because I enjoy Spongebob Squarepants as much as the next guy. In fact, I find Plankton downright compelling. The cartoons, I find somewhat entertaining, although I'd like to see Timmy Turner cast off the edge of tall building someday. Where I really struggle is with the "live action" sitcom type shows on these two channels.
The other day, I was subjected to the Suite Life of Zack and Cody Marathon. There's several hours of my life I will never get back. It's pure drech! Put that together with Corey in the House, Zeke & Luther, and that total Teen Nightmare Hannah Montana and you certainly have a Circle of Scavullo Hell that I don't ever want to visit. Even ICARLY gets on my nerves (although I do think Freddy is kinda cute and Spencer is somewhat endearing). But, let's face it, these shows are inane, ingratiating and have no socially redeeming value. The bottom line is they all have the same premises which go against everything I believe in.
1. All adults are apparent morons who can't find their way out of a paper bag.
2. All pre-teen and teenage children are smart, sassy and glib and can outsmart any adult at any time.
3. School and work are merely the downtime between fun times at the beach, at the smoothie shop, making the webshow or performing for millions onstage.
4. People don't work, they just sit around their amazing homes and apartments saying clever things and waiting for new, fabulous things to happen.
5. It's better to mislead people rather than telling the truth. One must hatch elaborate plots and ruse's in order to ensure you get what you want. After all, it worked so well for Jack Tripper on Three's Company, why not for Zach & Cody as they fool Moseby one more time. UGH!

This is a great lesson for our kids. I can't wait til my daughter comes home and says she wants have her own webshow. And I certainly won't supervise her while she's transmitting god knows what to thousands of people around the country. Of course not.
But what' s a parent to do? Ban Hannah and Zach and Cody completely? That would give this gaggle of morons too much credit. If I were to decree that these shows were forbidden at my house that would give them too much weight and make them all the more compelling. Therefore, I am taking a much more subversive and subtle approach. I just criticize the hell out of them when they are on the box. Often, my kids will argue with me, most vehemently, but hopefully I am making a little bit of a point. Jeez, how far we've come. I don't think my dad ever had to comment on the "krofts super show" or "Sigmund the Sea Monster>" I suppose that's mean we've evolved right. I don't know, you decide. In the meantime, you can find me watching Phineas and Ferb, one of the best shows on TV. That Doofenshmirtz just kills me.

My ego's writing checks my body can't cash!

2010-01-26T20:52:00.002-05:00

I am over-committed. There, I said it. I have too many commitments. I was reviewing my calendar today and realized that I am completely overscheduled. OK, let's start with the fact that I work full time.....in what one could only describe as a "time compelling" position. That's a nice way of saying it isn't a 40 hour a week deal. Now add to that the fact that I currently serve on not one, but two non profit boards. One for my kids school and the other for the Boys and Girls Clubs. Oh and did I mention that I am on the Steering Committee for the Annual St. John's Bazaar? And let's not forget the Boys and Girls club annual campaign committee. Well sure, that's plenty...but ya know....it doesn't end there. There's also the spaghetti lunches and school open houses that I just can't say no to.....need cookies for the christmas fair, I'm your gal........Help with the set up for the Annual Steak and Burger Dinner....here I am.
Now it's not all philanthropy, there's also a lot of good healthy fun in there too.....a bunch of moms are headed to a cottage for a weekend getaway? I'll be there with my famous martinis and a batch of banana bread. A great friend wants to get away to Boston for a few days of shopping...bring it on.....I'll make the Amtrak reservation. Someone needs to go to Vegas for a business conference at work....???? Oh I guess I'll go, if I have to.
But, the bottom line is, I'm pooped. At some point, I am going to have to jump off the merry go round. I'm thinking probably around the year 2020. In the meantime, who's up for Bunco on Friday night? I sure am!
They make medication for this don't they?

B90X---Serious Bible Reading

2010-01-19T21:02:00.002-05:00

I think I have blogged before about my desire to invest more in the spiritual side of my life. In the past twelve months, I have been much more committed to my spirtuality and I am making my church and prayer a much a bigger part of my life. Now, I know some of you are saying, "jeez this woman is a walking contradiction!" And, indeed folks I am to some degree. I love a good party, I am an assertive confident gal who loves a good off color joke and has been known to use the F word on occasion (perhaps too many occasions) but deep down, I love my god and he loves me. To some of you it may seem hard to believe, but I spend a good deal of my time praying.
So, to that end, I have decided to read the bible....from cover to cover....the whole thing...in 90 days. Why? Because I can. Because I should. Because I am drawn to it for some reason. I have been a sometimes practicing, sometimes lapsed Catholic (currently practicing) for 40 years and I have never really read the bible. Sure, I know some passages, like those ones that they always read at weddings and the ones about Christ's birth and the Crucifixion, but I have the feeling that I have missed alot of chapters. Who the heck was Hebbekuk? How in heaven's name did the sons of Cain and Abel live for 850 years. What's a cubit. These are questions I have and perhaps they will be answered...perhaps not.
So, I found this B90X plan which is a program to read the bible in 90 days. A facebook friend turned me onto it. So, you guys know me...I say "No time like the present" and I started reading in earnest.
And this really is a "Good Book" It's got everything magic, love, betrayal, vengeance, all of it...and that's just the first chapter. Sounds like a page turner...Amen.

Weekends were made for Michelob...

2010-01-18T14:06:00.002-05:00

Remember that commercial? What the hell happened to Michelob? I don't know anyone who drinks Michelob anymore. Sure, there are plenty of girls who drink Mich Ultra to keep their carbs down (note to those girls, it's not the Mich Ultra that will make you fat, it's the big plate of Nachos that you have with it). But seriously, where is regular old Michelob? While we're at it, how bout these beers?
Old Milwaukee --I guess it really did get better than this
Schaeffer--The one beer to have when your having more than one
Busch--Why does "head for the mountains of Busch" seem so inappropriate now.
Miller- "When it's time to relax, one beer stands clear, beer after beer" Again, encouraging binge drinking...feels wrong.
Milwaukees Best and Meister Brau--these beers were so cheap they couldn't afford a slogan or a commercial.

Thinking back on wine too, remember when people's idea of fine wine was Carlo Rossi? If you really wanted to impress people at the holidays you broke out the Almaden or some Pink Catawba. There was a solid decade in the 90's where most of my wine consumption came out of a Franzia box. (me likey the box o wine)
But now, it appears our tastes have matured. Now, my fridge is usually stocked with Heineken and Corona. I rarely drink wine that comes in bottles bigger than 750 ml....except for my favorite Pinot Grigio from Cavit. Does that mean I'm a snob? No it means that as I matured, I realized that booze didn't have to taste like crap. When you are going through your jeans looking for quarters to buy some beer, Heineken is out of the question...the 12 pack of Meister Brau Kinkers is the way to go.

Since I am feeling a bit nostalgic may be I'll pick up some Franzia for next week's Jet's-Colts game.....or perhaps a six pack of Michelob. I think I'll throw on some leggings, a big sweater and a banana clip too...what the hell. Whose coming over?

Wii Fit!

2010-01-12T20:52:00.002-05:00

We got a Wii for Christmas. For the kids. I then went out and bought Wii Fit. My "Wii Fit Age" according to the Wii balance board is....wait for it.....61 years old! Huh? Just because I can't do the center of balance games properly...oh and the fact that I am pushing maximum density. Well, let me tell ya, you get smacked in the face with a Wii Fit age of 61 my friends and there's a sure fire motivator. Since I stepped on the Wii two weeks ago, and had this dose of reality, I have lost 6.5 pounds. Much of this can be attributed to the fact that I have been sick and had no appetite, but still progress is progress.
Also, I think a major motivator was the impact my weight had on my Mii (that's the little Wii character you make for yourself) When I first signed on two weeks ago, I selected my Mii hair color, eye color etc. to make my own personal Wii character. I named it "Mama" since that's what they call me round here. Anywho, "Mama" was an adorable little Mii in her white workout pants and blu cropped workout top. Then, it happened. I stepped on the balance board for the first time so the Wii could record my weight and BMI. And guess what happened to little "Mama"? Just guess. Yup, she blew up like a balloon. All of a sudden, the cute little Mii was busting out of her adorable workout gear.
What a blow to the ego. If it didn't look so freaking funny, it might really be tragic. But, alas, I am resilient (or in denial, you decide). So, since then, my portions are smaller, I am taking the stairs more and I spend 30 minutes a night doing Rhythm Kung Fu to help my situation and hopefully bring my "Mama" back into proportion. Hopefully, god willing, I can get that Wii Fit age down too......61 years old.....Sweet Jesus! That's kooky.
wish me luck.

Winter!

2010-01-11T20:01:00.002-05:00

The long slog from Christmas to Spring has begun. This is such a funky time of year. Nothing much to look forward to, no big holidays, birthdays, events coming up, it's just time to hunker down and get through the winter! And when you live in Maine, the winter is long....and boring....and cold. Typically, during this time of year I try to start planning a trip somewhere for me and the hubby so we have something to look forward to. But this year, Marker and I are on the "Beans & Rice, Rice and Beans" plan so we can accomplish some fairly lofty financial goals this year so that means no Bed and Breakfast getaway for the Parkers anytime soon....pity.
So, I guess I will have to focus on planning some fun stuff close to home. Maybe this weekend I will clean my closet...now that's living!
I do have one business trip coming up....I am heading to Vegas in March for a conference. I am trying to convince my best pal Carrie to go with me. But, being in a similar financial situation as me, she is hedging. That being said, I think I can wear her down. I have some airline miles lying around that would probably be enough to get her out there and then after that it would just be me, her, slot machines and the 2.99 buffet. I think it sounds marvelous don't you? Now I just need to convince her of that. Wish me luck!
So anyway, that's something to look forward to. In the meantime, I have to get busy planning exciting winter activities, like rearranging the linen closet...good times.
Stay warm kids!

On the Train!

2010-01-02T09:17:00.002-05:00

Michaela and I are currently on the downeaster train to Boston. We boarded in Portland about an hour ago and we are about halfway there. I must say, train travel is really underrated. This is a great way to go. Big spacious seats in coach class, a cafe car that serves toasted bagels, a friendly conductor who stops at every seat and offers boston information and directions. The airlines could take a lesson. Of course, I also heard Amtrak makes no money, so maybe they don't have the right financial strategy. However, as far as travel to boston, I am sold on the Downeaster. This is fantastic! I sit here blogging and sipping a cup of Green Mountain coffee watching the snow covered scenery out the window. Lovely.
Well, there's a blizzard headed to Maine. It should hit tonight and could make my return trip a bit hairy. The good news is, I am a "go with the flow" kinda gal. I brought a pair of clean underwear and my toothbrush just in case I get stuck somewhere. (isn't that clever of me?)
So for now we will just amble along the railway to Boston, hoping that Michaela's flight is going to take off. If not, there's always Copley Plaza shopping :-)!!

2010 Day One

2010-01-01T10:42:00.003-05:00

I have decided to do nothing today. That's right, you heard me....absolutely nothing. I love New Years Day because it always symbolizes a new beginning, a fresh start, the opportunity to right last year's wrongs. So, I feel I should lounge, relax and contemplate 2009 today and plan for 2010 through quiet meditation and sleep. Perhaps I will throw in a bit of PC Solitaire and a few games of word twist just to challenge my cranium a bit. Yes, this is a good idea. A day of pure relaxation.
Now, my motivation for doing this is not merely spiritual and esoteric. It's also because my liver and kidneys are currently working overtime to process the copious amounts of wine and champagne I imbibed with my pals last night as we rang in the new decade. I have, what the layman call, a hangover. And at 40 years old, hangovers hurt. Way more than they did at 20. So I think it's best to allow my tender organs recover. I must pull a Gloria Swanson and "take to my bed" for the day. I hope to rise around 5:00 ish and have some noodle soup or something. Then, around 7 tonight, I think a long soak in the tub might be in order with the most recent copy of people magazine.
Yes, 2010 is shaping up to be a fantastic year!

God bless you all this the first of a glorious new year!

A New Year....A Fresh Start!

2009-12-30T22:55:00.002-05:00

All my adoring fans (Tony!) are a little bitter since I have been completely absent from my blog since October. So,therefore, as we begin the new year, it's time to get back on that horse and "blog on" I say! I have much to talk about as we are just finishing a busy and somewhat crazy holiday season. We started December with a trip to Washington DC, so I felt it only appropriate to ruminate on that for a bit.
Mark and I spent 4 days ambling through our nation's capital. Through that we learned several things. One, it pays to join the Omni Hotels Frequent Guest Program, so you get free coffee delivered to your room every day. Two, the Metro is a great way to get around DC, and the escalators are a great way to conquer one's fear of heights and crippling vertigo. Three, no commerce is transacted in DC with the exception of stores and restaurants. What I mean is; thousands and thousands of people work in DC but they don't produce anything. They all work for the freaking government.
Everywhere you go, it's an exercise in bureaucracy. I was amazed that when we visited the Capitol building and went to the House gallery to view our lawmakers in action (I should say "inaction") We had to check our electronics to ensure we weren't taking any illegal photos of "San Fran Nan" or Barney Frank (right!). Then when we went down the hall to go to the Senate Gallery, we were directed to go downstairs and pick up our electronics, then go to the "senate security office (50 feet away) and check our electronics there. Why? So 17 more government employees can have a job.
There are two gift shops at the Capitol. They are 100 feet apart and they both carry the same items. Is this necessary?
We walked all over DC....every building was a government agency of some kind. Hundreds of them. The EPA, The ATF, The FBI, The bureau of toilet tissue. You get my point. The thing has gotten out of control. As you can imagine, Marker Parker was a hoot through this whole thing. I have a great picture of him in front of the Capitol giving the finger and a big FU to our elected officials(with a special shout out to Pelosi) His Obama jokes were great and I think he really enjoyed the trip. We were a bit concerned about the Phillipine Embassy. As we were walking by, we noticed it appeared as if the Philiipine Delegation had abrubtly moved out with now forwarding address...weird.
But, did I mention the restaurants? We had some great meals (and copious cocktails) in DC. I think the Old Ebbit Grill was probably my favorite. They make a mean dirty martini and their steaks were great. We enjoyed strolling through the Ellipse and looking at all the Christmas Trees including the big one. They had a fire pit where some poor bastard from the Park's Service had to keep loading logs to keep the tourists warm. (Although Mark was convinced that they were burning documents). Speaking of documents we went to the National Archives and had a lot of laughs recalling that Democratic doofus who stuffed the "docs in his socks." (Sandy Berger).
Finally, on the last night we were there, we had dinner at the Darlington House with some friends who recently moved to Baltimore. Dinner was great, although, Mark was having difficulty with the Obama "HOPE" paraphernalia that covered the walls. It was a lovely dinner and a great way to round out the trip.
Overall, we had a great time despite our somewhat jaded view of our government. Oh and did I mention that I was there for a business conference? But I won't bore you with the details of the Student Loan Industry. I'll save that for another blog.

The Dempsey Challenge

2009-10-05T21:50:00.002-04:00

I participated in the Inaugural "Dempsey Challenge" yesterday. Many people don't realize that Patrick Dempsey (aka Dr. McDreamy) is from Buckfield Maine and went to high school in the Lewiston area. So, when he decided to "give back to his community" he founded "The Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope & Healing" at CMMC in Lewiston. The Dempsey Challenge included several cycling events as well as a 5K race. Patrick did the 50 mile ride.....since I look ridiculous in bike shorts, I did the 5K run. (Patrick, by the way looks fantastic in bike shorts). The sky was gray and it was kind of damp and cold yesterday morning as we gathered in the staging areas for our various events. People stood around, drank coffee, ate bagels and waited for the event to begin. At about 7:45, Patrick (we're on a first name basis now) stepped up to the stage and look out at the 3500 participants and the look on his face was absolutely priceless.
I wish I could have known what was going through his mind at that moment. Pride, amazement, gratitude, all of the above probably. I think he truly was amazed at what he had started. There were teams of people in matching t-shirts. Many had a motivation...a picture of a relative who had died of cancer......a friend who was a survivor, some were survivors themselves...living to tell their tale. I choked up then, and I choke up now just thinking about it. So inspiring. The Maine State Police were 140 members strong on their team, in their matching blue shirts, running the 5k and shouting out their cheers.
The most striking group for me was "Ali's Rack Pack." A group of women all in pink t-shirts, wearing festively adorned bras on the outside of their t-shirts. A rowdy bunch who smiled from ear to ear as they headed to the start line. What I only found out later, is this group was walking in memory of their friend, sister, mother, daughter, Ali who had passed away from Breast Cancer only 3 weeks before. I am sure Ali was smiling down on them yesterday! I am in awe of their grace and determination despite what I am sure is intense grief. And I can only hope that every woman who saw these women....will heed their advice and get a mammogram!

So, I guess all I can say is.....well done Patrick! What started a small way as a way of giving back to the community, quickly became bigger than all of us. I am proud to say I raised almost $900 for the cause, which seems miniscule in contrast the the $1Million raised from the event, but as they say, every little bit counts. I am even prouder to say I will definitely be back next year. This is what life is about. It's cold, damp, tragic, inspiring, funny, grueling, rewarding and so many other things. An event like this helps you remember that.
I hope I never forget.

Jill

By the way, they had an exposition tent and many of the tables were giving away door prizes. Of course, in channeling my Nana, I signed up for every door prize and guess what I won?
FREE BOTOX. So, the next time you see me, if I look slightly surprised...it's not my mood, it's the botox. :-)

Friendship

2009-09-07T09:16:00.002-04:00

Mark and I have just finished up a lovely weekend with some good friends. On Saturday, we went to their house for a good old downeast lobster boil and then on Sunday, they came to our place for Lobster Bisque and steaks on the grill. Both evenings were wonderful and relaxing and filled with laughter. This particular couple are fairly new friends of ours, as we have only known them for a few years and only recently started seeing them socially. But, talk about kismet, we both have 5 year old kiddos who love to play together, and we have so much in common with them.
So this got me thinking about friendship in general and how, in our crazy hectic lives, we often don't make enough time for adult relationships. Sometimes, we are just so busy running our kids to school and soccer and play dates that we forget that we, the adults, need a social life too. And I totally understand that, for many of us, we have precious little time to spend with our cherubs, that we hate to leave them home with a babysitter on a Saturday night. I get that. That's why I say, schlep em along. I almost always invite the children when I have a couple over for dinner. Because, I know, for some people, it's the only way they will get out of the house.
We do have some friends, who, since they have had children, we rarely see. And that bums me out. I don't want to seem too judgmental here, but I feel that friendship takes work. I know that it's often easier to stay home on a Saturday night, laying on the couch cuddling with your kiddos because this type of behavior makes sure their routine isn't disrupted. And I enjoy that kind of time just as much as the next mom. But, I think, if your doing that every weekend, you are really missing the boat. Sometimes, you have to inconvenience yourself a little bit and pack up the kiddos, put on some lipstick and head over to a friends house. Or, if that's too much for you, invite em over to your place. You really should. Because, otherwise, friendships slip away and you lose touch and then someday, it might be too late to get it back. As a mom, I am simply unwilling to forgo friendship, just because I have children. I think they are even more important now and my friends help me retain some level of my sanity.
Do me a favor..today...call up a friend you haven't seen in a while and make plans to get together soon. Remember what my mom taught me many years ago....
You have to be a friend...to have a friend.

WEATHER

2009-08-17T20:03:00.002-04:00

Have you ever noticed that some people are never happy with the weather? Remember back in June and July when it rained.....like...EVERYDAY? And everyone was bitching and moaning about it. "Hey, I wonder if the sun is ever going to shine again?" "It seems like it rains every day." "It's so damp, I haven't even had to put my air conditioner in the window....this sucks."
Yup, that's what we heard, day in and day out. Oh, I'll admit it, I was saying it too. Then, all of a sudden in August, the sun came out.....and how! I swear that the sun has been shining almost non-stop since August 1st. We have had almost 17 days of straight sunshine. That's a little over two weeks. And now you know what?......people are bitching about the heat. "It's so hot, I can't stand it." "I'm melting." "I wish the sun would go behind the clouds for a second just to cool things off."
Jesus people, make up your mind. It's funny, we have been waiting for this all year and then it gets here and two weeks later, we are bored with it. With football entering pre-season, alot of people are already getting excited about crisp fall days and apple pie and red wine and cider and all that stuff. Now, I love that stuff as much as the next guy, but could I please have just a few weeks of Sangria, Margaritas, Sweet Corn, Fresh Tomatoes and Sunshine before we move on to the next damn season?
I think I finally figured it out....we are a nation of people with short attention spans. We love to "look forward" to things. So much that we don't enjoy it when it gets here because we are on to the next great thing. Do me a favor. Do yourself a favor. Relax. Sit on the deck. Drink some lemonade. Play some volleyball. There will be plenty of time for Hot Toddies and Cider and Beef Stew in November. For now, drink in the sun, enjoy the heat, crank up the AC if you want to .....summer's here and it will be gone before you know it.

FORTY! (i even spelled it right)

2009-08-06T15:28:00.002-04:00

Well, here I am....it's my birthday and I am now......40 years old! And you know what? I feel freaking fantastic. I have a fresh manicure, pedicure, eyebrow wax.....I feel like a hundred dollars. All day, I have received warm thoughts and messages from friends far and wide wishing me a happy birthday. How great is that!?! I went out to lunch at the Sea Dog with Matty P. and we had fun putting together his new Lego Pirate Raft (It's my birthday and he gets a present-go figure). I came home and worked in the yard for a few hours and now I just cracked the cork on a lovely Pinot Grigio. A good friend is coming over shortly to help me celebrate my 40th birthday happy hour. It's all good. So, the day I have been dreading is here and it ain't half bad. A friend at work got me this book, it's called "How not to look old." She did it as a goof, but I must tell you, I love it. Since I started reading it I have switched lipstick colors, reconsidered bangs and had my eyebrows shaped differently. How handy! I am always amazed at the thoughtfulness of others. A dear old friend who I haven't seen in years because she lives far away sent me the most amazing care package. It included a big ol wine glass (we all know I can use that) a "Seventeen" magazine (you're never too old for boyfriend tips) and a Super Leopard Print Snuggie Deluxe....aka the WTF blanket. This little package made my day. Not merely for the contents, but more for the warmth and caring that went into it. It's amazing because this woman changed my life when I had the honor of working for her because she was truly one of the greatest leaders I have ever encountered, but now today, so many years later, she still continues to make an impact on me. Thank you Jody, you are still an Amazing Woman and great friend. Another great friend got me this book called, "Run Like a Girl, Igniting the spark for your next great adventure." It is beautiful and perfect and such a thoughtful gift, I get all Vklempt just reading it.
So, to all of you who I have been whining to about my 40th birthday for months and months....sorry. It's actually not bad at all. I feel great....my boobs are still in the right place....I still have the greatest husband in the world who loves me unconditionally....I still have the best friends anyone could ever ask for....I have a strong faith in god.....and a truly blessed life. I am looking forward to the next 40 years. I hope you all come along with me for the ride on my "next great adventure."
J

Saying Goodbye

2009-08-05T08:41:00.002-04:00

My heart is breaking. Right this very second, it feels as if it has been ripped into small pieces. We just said goodbye to our 14 year old daughter. She is moving to Oklahoma to live with her mother. (I am her step-mom). We have known this day was coming for months now and we had plenty of time to prepare, but that doesn't change the fact that, this morning, I am devastated. We are devastated. We all know that someday, we will say goodbye to our children and send them out in to the world, I just didn't think it would be this soon. There's so much I still have to say, so much to teach her and tell her. There are so many hugs that I am missing already. Cuddles and the soft sound of her saying, "I love you" from down the hallway. God I am going to miss that.
It's not like we are saying goodbye forever, she will be back for Thanksgiving break and Christmas Break and Summer Vacation, but that gives me little solace right now. It's hard to imagine life at Parker's Nest without her. I am sure we will adjust and adapt and find ways to connect with her via email and phone and facebook, whatever it takes. But for right now...none of that gives me much peace. I just wanted that plane to turn around and bring her back right this very second. That's not going to happen though. And that's why my heart is breaking. and that's all I have to say about that.

Beach 2 Beacon Redux...

2009-08-01T18:57:00.002-04:00

I am laying on my bed right now.....5 days before my 40th birthday. I have a frozen bottle of water at the end of the bed icing my heel and I have a huge bag of "Party Ice" resting on my right hip and I feel fantastic. I just ran my 4th Beach 2 Beacon 10K this morning. On 5 hours sleep. Ya see, I took our 14 year old daughter to see Taylor Swift last night at the TD Banknorth Garden in Boston. We left Boston at about 10:00 PM, got back to the hotel in Scarborough at Midnight. I fell asleep at 1:00 and I was up at 6:00 AM this morning to get ready for the race.
I finished this year's race with my worst 10k time ever....1:10:59. I still feel marvelous about it. Let me run down the morning's events and maybe you will understand where I am coming from.
It was a warm (ok, hot) August morning. When I got to the start, I was very discombobulated and somewhat foggy due to my lack of sleep. Usually, I get there really early, do a warm up run and ton of stretches. I had time for none of that this morning. I got there, met up with my friend Leslie and immediately got in the portapotty line. 20 minutes later, it was 5 minutes to eight and we had to start queueing up. The gun goes off, we walk for about 500 yards because there are so many runners, but finally we start running. I felt pretty good to start off but somewhere after mile one....a dreadful ache started building in my right hip. It's been happening on and off lately so this is nothing new. So , I sent Leslie ahead and I started walking. Now, the young immature 39 year old me wanted to keep running, damn the pain to hell. The smart, more mature 40 year old me....decided not to be stupid and to take it easy. After about 1/4 mile, I started jogging again, nice and easy, and it felt....ok. Not great, but ok.
Now, did I mention it was hot.......like Africa Hot. Fortunately the good people of Cape Elizabeth like to cheer on us B2B runners and spray us with their garden hoses. BEAUTIFUL!
As I continued to chug along at a penguin's pace ( a little shout out to Mr. Bingham) I started this great, positive conversation with myself. "Jill, you're gonna be 40 in 5 days and you are out on the road, listening to the pounding of your own feet on the pavement as you finish your 4th 10K and your 8th race this summer!" I felt like a Rock Star. I would look to the side of the road and some great spectator would say something like, "You're awesome Jill (my name is on my bib)"
So.....I ground it out.....and it was probably the most rewarding race I have ever run. I realized that all that crap about "woe is me, I am turning 40" is just crap. Being 40 just means I am a little older, a little wiser and not afraid to come in 4,965th out of 5,600 runners. Who cares where I finished....the bottom line is.....I finished.
Now, let's not kid ourselves...I am really sore right now and I likely will be even more achy tomorrow. But that's just a nice reminder...of my accomplishment.
So let's look back to when I started this blog last Thanksgiving. All jammed up about turning 40 years old. Vowing to train for a half marathon and lose weight in the process before I turn 40. I am not ashamed to tell you that I haven't (yet) run the 1/2 Marathon. I am also not ashamed to tell you that I haven't lost much weight either. But I did "Run to Fourty" (note I mispelled fourty on purpose) and I feel great. And I am going to keep running to my next birthday and the next and the next. I am a runner. I run like a girl. And that feels freaking fantastic!

Why I love 5K races.....

2009-07-18T17:23:00.002-04:00

I have been running many 5K races lately. I think I have run six different races in the last 10 weeks so, more often than not, if your looking for me on a Saturday Morning, I am probably at a 5K race. And here's why I love them. Anyone can do it. Unlike Marathons, 10K's, triathalons etc. The 5K race is the everyman's race. Even if you haven't run in decades, you could probably choke and wheeze your way through a 5K. It's a classic entry level race that's not very intimidating. Sure, sometimes you get to the race and you see that only 80 people are running and 90% of the field is under the age of 20 years old (this happened to me this morning), and you resign yourself to the fact that you have more body fat in your left elbow than some of these kids have on their whole body, but so be it. You are still making the distance, same as them, just a little slower. Ok, a lot slower, but who gives a diddly? It's still fun, there's still food at the end and you still get a free tshirt. Oh, I almost forgot, it's also good for you.
I tend to like the bigger 5K's that have a wider field so I know there are at least 50 or 60 people who I may (and I emphasize "may") be able to outrun. That always feels good. Knowing you just passed the octogenarian with the "will run for beer" t-shirt. Talk about redemption! Small races are fun too. There's something nice about hanging out after a race on a cool summer morning with about 50 or 60 people you have never met before who all have the same thing in common. They would rather run with their friends than stay under the covers. I always meet interesting people and I usually have one or two women who seem to keep the same pace as me and we seem to help each other along. There's usually one fan/family member on the side lines who offers me a high five at Mile 2 when they don't even know me. That's what's cool.
So, if you are looking for me on a Saturday morning around 8 or 9 AM, you will likely find me around the registration tent of a 5k. Getting my number and my t-shirt and trying to find the nearest port-a-potty. Even if I never break 30 minutes, and even if I never have another PR again, I will be there, because it gives me a sense of accomplishment and fellowship that I can't get anywhere else. That's why I love 5K's!

On the other side......

2009-07-01T16:53:00.002-04:00

In the last 24 hours, I have heard about several friends who have recently gone through or are currently going through major transitions in their personal lives. When I say major transitions, I think everyone knows I am talking about the loss of a relationship. As I have heard these individual's stories, I couldn't help but reflect back on the year 2000 when my first marriage ended and how at that time, I really felt as if my world was falling apart. Up until that moment, I thought I had it all, great job, husband, house, infant daughter.........all was right with the world. Then, like a Mack Truck careening into my home, it all came to an abrupt end. If I really want to be honest with myself, I probably knew the truck was coming and saw it coming around the bend long before that fateful Labor Day weekend. I just chose to ignore the screeching tires and the horn.
When the dust settled and I realized it was over, I did what every self respecting woman would do......I collapsed. I cried to my mommy, I probably drank too much wine, I smoked a lot of cigarettes, I was a mess. And then, my friends showed up. Even friends I didn't really realize I had. They arrived with notes and flowers and food and held me up. They came to my house and decorated my tree on my first Christmas alone. They took me out to dinner and kept me busy during the times my little girl was with her dad. They made me run up Point Lookout just to prove I could do it. Then, a funny thing happened, time passed, wounds healed, divorce finalized, chapters ended.
Then, I met Mark and we fell in love....got married......built a family.....and lived happily ever after. The funny thing is, I want to tell my friends who are going through hell right now, that it's all going to be ok....in fact it will be better than ok. They will move on with the next chapter and someday, just maybe, they will "bless the broken road" and find that happily ever after. I want to tell them that, but it won't likely make it hurt any less right now. So, the thing to do is to arrive with notes and flowers, and help them decorate their christmas tree and take them out to dinner when the kids are with their father. I should hold them up the way others held me up when I felt like I could collapse if the wind blew the wrong way.
I am a firm believer in fate and I believe everything happens for a reason. Someday, these friends will be happily remarried...or not. They will have more kids....or not. They will move to new places....or not. They will be friends with their ex-spouse (I am)....or not. And all this pain will be a distant memory. I hope that day comes soon for my friends.....until then....I am on the job.

High Fructose Corn Syrup

2009-06-26T20:26:00.002-04:00

I am on a quest....a journey really, to rid my home of "High Fructose Corn Syrup." If you believe what you read, and this I do believe, High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) is the worst kind of "foodstuff" there is. For the last month, I have been focusing on eliminating white flour from the Parker diet and now we are onto the Liquid Death as it has been called, HFCS. The problem is, this junk is in everything, and I mean everything! So expunging it is not an easy task. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find Ketchup, a staple at the Parker abode, that doesn't have HFCS? Virtually impossible, unless of course you want to spend 8.99 for a jar of "natural ketchup" at the Whole Foods. Which of course, I will do, once we finish the Heinz squeeze bottle of poison that is currently sitting on the shelf on the door in the fridge. I mean, you can't throw away perfectly good ketchup can you. Next up, find me a cookie, any cookie that doesn't have this stuff in it.....almost impossible. Now I am up to making homemade cookies for my families lunches since I can't find a decent cookie in the store that isn't loaded with hydrogenated oils and HFCS.
So, tell me friends, have I lost my mind? Am I going cuckoo? I just figure there has got to be away to eat food that has real food in it right? thoughts.....anyone?

Am I Just "That Good" or do I have "SUCKER" written on my forehead?

2009-06-21T20:58:00.002-04:00

Anyone who has peered at my FB page in the last 36 hours knows that I have spent much of that time at the Annual St. John's Bazaar, chairing the soda booth. Now, this is not a complex assignment. The chairperson is required to contact volunteers and finesse them into giving away their valuable weekend free time to help out the church and sell some soda for Jesus. So, about 3 weeks ago, I made calls in earnest and found myself about 12 or so volunteers to cover various shifts throughout the weekend. Unfortunately, a number of folks on my list have since moved away so there were several shifts left uncovered.....and that meant I had to cover them. No biggie, I enlisted the help of my 14 year old daughter along with her friend to help "man the booth" They were a great help, but it quickly became clear that they would rather be riding the rides with their friends. Plus, I needed them to keep my 5 year old occupied, so for much of the weekend, I sent them off to play games and ride rides and I was alone in the booth as the designated St. John's "Soda Jerk." I must say I didn't mind working the booth alone. I was the picture of efficiency, with noone to get in my way and I was really busy so the time flew by. Let's be honest.....In the world of Bazaar Food Booth's, I was good! Soon I had attracted the attention of some steering committee members who were clearly impressed with my fountain drink prowess, for soon I was fielding questions about whether I might be interested in joining the Bazaar steering committee next year......what? All I did was make some lemonade and Iced Tea. Why was I all of a sudden a hot property? This evening, I came home with blistering feet, an aching back, smelling of fried dough and I asked my husband this question. His answer........"because you show up and you lead." How the hell does one lead the soda booth? I think it's more likely because I show up. I also think the word is out that when I am asked to volunteer for something, I never say no. (I always intend to say no....but then I can't, it's an illness) So, guess who will be attending the steering committee meetings for next year's bazaar friends? Yup, you got it.....Jill, the "leading Soda Booth Chairperson" of Brunswick. So I got that going for me........which is nice.

Any day.......

2009-06-15T20:31:00.003-04:00

I received word on Saturday night that a man that I knew passed away unexpectedly that morning. Now, I had not seen this man for at least 5 or 6 years and we certainly weren't close but I remember this man fondly for he was truly "larger than life" in personality and spirit. The type of person who should be immortal, one might think. Unfortunately, that was not the case as this 45 year old man who was full of zest for life, suddenly died of a heart attack just a day after returning from a Disney World Vacation with his wonderful family. I found myself spending alot of time thinking about him and his family during the past two days. It was a busy weekend, but he kept creeping into my thoughts. My heart ached for his wife and children who are no doubt reeling from this sudden and horrible event. I prayed for them to find some peace in knowing he is in heaven watching down on them. I prayed that their close family will hold them up and keep them safe and sane during a truly insane period when, I am sure....absolutely nothing makes sense.
Of course, being the narcissist that I can be, I began to think about my own life and about lives in general. It seems lately, I have come just way too close to so many cases of amazing people leaving this world well before they were supposed to. It really makes you pause and think about how life is really so short and uncertain. Many of us become so self involved and think only about the minor inconveniences in life as if they are the end of the world. The truth is, they are just that, inconveniences. Even major issues like divorce, job loss, home foreclosure should seem insignificant compared to the immeasurable grief of a family who loses a loved one well before "their time."
Again, the question becomes, understanding the impact of an event such as this on those of us in the periphery, what does one do? Maybe, just maybe, we hug our kids a bit more, we drink a bit of wine, we go for a 2 mile run, we call our mother, we go to church, we reach out to old friends on facebook, we make love to our spouse, we sit on the deck with some iced tea, we smell the flowers, well, you get the idea. And we feel at that moment as if our kids are just a bit sweeter, the laughs are that much funnier, the iced tea is the best we've ever had, because we really savor it. That's my plan. Because, let's face it, life is a crap shoot anyway and there are no guarantees. That's the lesson here, a painful and awful lesson, but one that I need to remember more often. Rest in peace Chip.........I am sure there will a Preakness Party in heaven this year.

Where the hell have I been?

2009-06-02T21:59:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been a few weeks since I blogged. I am happy to report the heel spur is on the mend and I have been on the treadmill and out on the roads a few times since then, so it appears that the worst has passed. Still a little twingy, but ok nonetheless. But enough about my foot, let's talk about Sporcle, my newest obsession. If you haven't been to Sporcle.com......do yourself a favor, don't ever go there. It will suck you into a vortex of ridiculous trivia quizzes that will cause you to lose many hours of your life that you will never get back.
I spent a good portion of last evening on this giant time bandit of a website......I particularly enjoy the "corporate logo" quizzes where they show you the logos and you have to figure out what company it represents. I am amazed at how many I actually got right. It boggles the mind to consider how much useless crap we have stored in the recesses of our brain. For example, why do I know every major muppet character as well as the names of most Dustin Hoffman movies? How does this serve me in life? Only on Sporcle my friends, only on Sporcle.
So, once again, consider this my own personal PSA......stay away from Sporcle. You will find that you have time for little else.
night!

Heel Spurs and Vicodin

2009-05-20T19:43:00.002-04:00

Ran a race on Saturday. The Brunwick Police Department "Hot Pursuit" 5K. I logged the best 5K time ever and shaved two minutes off my PR. Feeling good, walking tall. Came home, showered, went to the grocery, proceeded with a productive Saturday, thrilled with my accomplishment. Then at around 1:00 AM on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning, it happened. pain. searing pain. My heel was protesting my PR in the 5K and how! It felt like someone was taking a knife and plunging it into my heel. Attempts to "walk it off" were futile. I couldn't put any pressure on it at all. Up all night in pain, popping Advil, like tic-tacs, and it didn't even touch the pain. By 10:00 AM Sunday, I was off to the ER rather than to 11:00 AM Mass at St. John's. X rays revealed a big ugly heel spur that looks like the nose of the wicked witch of the west. My pain, due to inflammation around the "spur" from my PR in the 5K. Crap!
They sent me home with crutches, vicodin and strict instructions to ice and rest my sorry little heel.
The next two days are a drug induced haze. That vicodin is powerful and nasty stuff. Believe me, I was willing to put up with the incoherence because it beat the hell out of the ripping pain in my heel but jeez louise, the crazy dreams I was having were too much! Alligators, and monsters and murderers and crazy flying creatures.....all out to get me.......bizarro. Finally by day three of this crap, I went to the Podiatrist for a better treatment plan besides narcotic intoxication. Dr. S. was kind enough to give me a six day course of prednisone to calm the inflammation and a walking boot to ease the pressure. He assures me that in a few days, I will be on the mend and I should be lacing up my Mizuno's in a couple of weeks. As long as I follow his advice on my training and I let him fit my sneaks with Superfeet or orthotics, to protect my tender Plantar Fascia. No problemo Doc! We are in this together. So, I have added Dr. S. to my training team. He seems to be on board with what I am trying to accomplish here. Yay!
So, the good news is, I am starting to feel better. I am not addicted to Vicodin, so you won't see me on an upcoming edition of "Intervention" and I am getting back to my life. Amen. I am going to make it to church this weekend and pray for Dr. S. and my tender Plantar Fascia!

Are we raising a generation of morons?

2009-05-11T19:15:00.003-04:00

We have three children. Ages fourteen, nine and five. My husband mentioned this evening that he is very concerned that our children don't know how to do anything for themselves. For example:
The two youngest went down to the playroom to play tonight and wanted to listen to music. So, the nine year old asks for her IPOD......sadly, it's not charged. How about a CD? No, don't like any of that music. So hubby says, "why don't you listen to the radio?" "How do you do that?" our nine year old asks. Now, fo shizzle, you and I knew how to work a radio when we were nine years old. How else would we have been able to listen to Casey Kasem's American Top Fourty? Hell, we even knew how to work the tape deck so we could record our favorite songs (Journey anyone?)
But, our nine year seriously had no clue how to work the radio. So, hubby gives specific instructions, look for the "radio on" button. Then use the "tuning knob" to set the station. He could have been speaking Swahili based on the look on this kid's face. She clearly didn't know what the hell a tuning knob was and she sure as hell didn't want to find out. But, she headed to the basement in earnest. Five minutes, later she returns, clearly frustrated. She can't find the Radio on button and forget about a tuning knob. So, of course hubby heads to the basement for a quick lesson in rudimentary radio operation.
Similar scenarios have occured at Parker's Nest with such complex items as......
"Setting the alarm clock"
"Turning on the stove"
and of course, the Coup de Gras.....
Running the Dishwasher.

Have mercy! Sure, my kids can get to any song on their ipod in twenty seven seconds, they can get to level 32 on Mario Kart for DS in a few minutes. My five year old has even mastered the complexities of PopTropica online but don't ask any of these kids to change a set of batteries in a flashlight or anything mechanical like that. It just ain't happening.
So what should I do? Hold a weekly "fend for yourself clinic" in the basement with the tribe? I think so. If anything should happen to Mark and I, these kids won't last 45 minutes on their own. Hell, they can't even find the milk in the fridge when it's staring right at them. (Funny, they always seem able to find the popsicles in the freezer-though)

Now, don't judge me. I love my children and they are three bright and articulate youngsters. But sometimes.....I wonder just what else I haven't taught them that I really should. Great, another thing to think about at night instead of sleeping. I am starting a list. Starting with the whole batteries in the flashlight thing!

Communication-It's not just for breakfast anymore

2009-05-09T09:17:00.003-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about communication lately. Particularly how some people are so good at it and others are so not good at it. Understand, I am not speaking about the ability to communicate in an articulate manner. Anyone can put together pretty words. I am talking about the ability and courage to communicate what you are really feeling. I have been accused in my life of being "too direct." Several people I know (yes, you Mark) have been accused of having "no filter." In other words, whatever they are thinking comes tumbling out of their mouth. Now there are risks and rewards to being so forthcoming with communication. The risks are, of course, you will say something inappropriate, offend someone, hurt someone etc. The rewards are the people in your circle will certainly know where they stand and they also may find your "filterless" communication very amusing.
But, here's the deal. Throughout my life, people have claimed, that they want to know how I really feel, the want direct feedback, they want me to be honest with them. Then when you give them what they want.......they don't really want it. They get defensive and don't want to take accountability and own it.
And believe me, I am just as guilty of this as the next person. Mark and I have a very communicative relationship. I tell him that we talk things to death and beat the crap out of every subject. But there's great value to that because we always look at all the angles. But having such an open communicator for a husband, also means I sometimes hear more than I want to hear. And I am just as reticent as the next guy (girl) when I hear stuff that I don't want to hear. But it's better than the alternative, which is having to guess how someone really feels about your performance, attitude, cooking, lovemaking, bathroom habits, whatever.
So, I am going to continue to be a direct communicator, albeit continuing to focus on diplomacy and form in my communication. And I want others to do the same. I can take it! Can you?

By the way, I love you all and I thank god for blessing me with your friendship. There, that was a good first step wasn't it?

Nashville

2009-05-01T20:11:00.003-04:00

I just got back from a trip to Nashville. I went to the Opryland Hotel for a conference on Remote Deposit Capture (like you care?) Anyway, what a great time! We arrived on Sunday and since the conference didn't start until Monday, we headed out to Music Row on the "Honkytonk Express" The bus dropped us off in front of the Wild Horse Saloon and we were off to the races. At 3:00 pM on a Sunday afternoon, every bar was packed and had live country music. The music was outstanding. It was great to hear all these bands who were just trying to get their big break. We did the Tennessee pub crawl for about 4 hours and it was a complete hoot. Of course, being the old bags that we are (Bonnie and I) , we called it a night pretty early, not to say we didn't have a nice little buzz when we climbed back on the bus for the journey back to Opryland.
Monday was all business as we attended the sessions at the conference, but Monday night we went out with a group of new friends who were interested in gaining our business. (I love vendors). Dinner for 10 at the hotel restaurant and then off to the sports bar to watch the hockey game. It was a great group of people and we had a lot of laughs. At midnight, they called last call and kicked us out. Now, thinking back, we were all quite upset that the bar was closing "so early" and several folks were plotting how to continue to party. But alas, we all headed back to our rooms, quite well marinated. The next morning at breakfast, we all commented that we were so glad that the Hotel Bar had the good sense to close at midnight and send us back to our rooms before we got into any trouble or drank anymore. It's nice when the management has the good sense to do that.
Finally, on Tuesday night, Bonnie and I headed to the Grand Ole Opry. All I can say is wow, what an awesome time! It was like experiencing history. After the incredible show, we went back to the hotel for an planned early turn-in since we had to get up early for the trip home. But..........a quick stop at the hotel bar for a nightcap turned into a 2 hour laugh fest with some wonderful people at the bar, who happened to think I was Hilarious! You know how I love an audience, so suffice to say, we did not turn in early as planned. But as Bonnie and I sleepily boarded the shuttle to the airport, we both agreed that it was worth it. Sure, we were exhausted and I should probably schedule dialysis to get my kidneys functioning properly again, but what a great trip. And how was your week?

My stolen IPOD

2009-04-21T20:15:00.002-04:00

About 2 weeks ago, my car was broken into. in my driveway! while I slept! Bastards. Anyway, they stole my GPS (I'll miss you Nigel) but, even worse, they stole my damn IPOD. So, my question is....how's that work? They can't hook it up to I-tunes, because it's already registered right? Could they wipe it clean and start over? Or are they destined to listen to my music for the rest of their days. Geez, I hope so. I would love to think that some crack addict who stole $3 bucks worth of spare change out of my husband's truck was destined to listen to my collection of Robert Goulet, followed by "Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch. Now there's some justice. Sure, they would probably rather listen to "'Timbaland" or "NeYO" or some other bulls*&% but instead they will have to hear "Convoy" by CW McCall or better yet, the original broadway cast recording of CATS! Yes, this is good. I imagine them sitting around the crack den, when all of a sudden, out of the IPOD speakers comes "Copacabana" then maybe a few choice selections from Dionne Warwick. Sure, they could listen to my running mixes and get a little Rihanna or some Coldplay, hell they might even joy my collection of Young MC and DJ Ez Rock with Rob Base. But you know they are going to be hating the Grease Soundtrack and the New Kids on the Block.
Of course, who am I kidding, they probably pawned the thing within 1 hour of stealing it. Still it's nice to dream. It makes me feel better about losing my 4 gigabytes of joy!

spelling is not my forte'

2009-04-20T21:51:00.002-04:00

A dear friend just told me that my blog title is spelled wrong. I can't believe I never noticed it before despite the fact that I am an excellent speller.
The problem is, if I fix it then my loyal following (once again, all three of you) may never be able to find it. So, that being said, I am leaving it the way it is.....just like me.....slightly flawed.....but still fabulous! Thanks Jo.

108 days to go.....

2009-04-20T20:21:00.002-04:00

I figured out today that I have exactly 108 days to go until I turn 40. I have to admit, I am really having difficulty wrapping my head around age 40. I think it's because I still think of myself as 27 years old, that 4o just doesn't seem possible. It's just can't be right, can it? So, here I sit, on the precipice of middle age, in the worst shape of my life. Sure, I'm running, but I would not say I am in peak condition. I just can't seem to get in the groove. I keep trying to diet, but I am failing miserably at that. Life is really complicated at present and I am struggling to get passionate about anything. I know that I want to record this milestone by doing something fantastic that I can be proud of, but I am having a hard time pulling it together to do it. Why is that? Any thoughts, ideas? I am appealing to you, the three people who read this for your advice. Let me know what you think. In the meantime, I'll keep chugging along. Maybe if I can kick this cold, I will find my MOJO. Here's hoping.

shuffling off

First Race of the Season

2009-04-19T18:06:00.002-04:00

Heaven Help Me! I ran the Patriots Day 5 miler this morning. Believe me when I say, I had no business running this race. I have not been training regularly at all, due to illness and overall family craziness. I haven't run at all in about 3 weeks. So, anyway, I headed to Portland and lined up in the corral with about 400, much better prepared runners. It was a gorgeous day for a run, but you could have fooled me, because I was paralyzed with fear at the start. My concern, would I be able to finish? I have run a lot of races in the past and I have always been prepared and confident. Not today. I was so jammed up while waiting for the starting gun, I thought I was going to throw up. Anyway, the whistle went off and I began shuffling along. Soon, everyone, and I mean everyone had passed me. I was truly "bringing up the rear" the only ones behind me were the "walkers." About 1.5 miles in as we entered Back Cove, I thought it was the end, I couldn't breathe (did I mention I am getting over a cold?). I was huffing and puffing as if I had smoked a half pack of marlboro lights last night (I know what your thinking, I didn't-I'm not that dumb). So, I did it, I started walking. I walked for about a 1/4 mile, and then started running again. Curiously, I passed a few of those folks who had earlier passed me, they too, had found themselves running out of gas. I kept moving at a snail's shuffle, but I was still in the race. At around mile 3, there was a water stop; THANK GOD! After hydration, I was back in action. I finished the last two miles at a much quicker pace than the first three, amazingly and I crossed the finish line with just a little it left in the tank. I was really proud of myself! Then, I drank three bottles of water (and didn't have to pee-truly a sign of a hydration problem) and then headed home. I got home, ate two huge hamburgers from the grill and then took a long cool bath. After that, naptime. Now, you might be saying, wow you must feel good. THAT WOULD BE WRONG! I am in so much freaking pain right now, I am popping Advil like Tic Tacs. My lungs feel like they have been wrung out.
What did I learn? I learned that I need to get back on the training wagon...........and get serious........after a few days of rest.....and a massage.

Beach2Beacon is on the horizon once again....

2009-04-16T21:47:00.001-04:00

If I am going to run, let's make it worthwhile huh? See below....

As many of you know, I presently serve on the board of the Boys and Girls Club of Lewiston Auburn. I have mentioned to many of you how my experiences working with all of the Southern Maine Boys and Girls Club has had such a profound effect on me. I have had the opportunity to meet amazing kids, who are succeeding on the right path, despite some pretty tough odds. These kids count on the BGC as a "safe haven" sometimes, it's the only safe place they have. This past year, I had the opportunity to again judge the Youth of Year scholarship competition and meet and interview more of these incredible boys and girls. I see how the club has changed their life and I am always moved to tears when I hear their stories of challenges and how they have overcome those challenges with the club's help. So, my friends, once again I am running the Beach 2 Beacon 10K race on August 1st and doing so in honor of the Boys and Girls Clubs. I am hoping you will support me in this endeavor by making a small donation to the club in my name. I invite you to visit the Boys and Girls Club of Southern Maine website to view more about the club's mission. www.bgcmaine.orgI even have my own fundraising page. If you wish to donate, click on "Sponsor a B2B runner" and then click on my name. Or paste this into your browser:http://www.bgcmaine.org/main.asp?id=69So, here we go again, more training, more advil, more ben-gay. I am determined to break an hour this year. (Did I mention the race is only 5 days before my 40th birthday-EGAD!)
thanks in advance for your support.
God bless!
Jill

Running 2 Fourty......where am I?

2009-04-09T19:53:00.003-04:00

So, I was befelled by illness this week. Just totally run down and pooped out. I think my body just said....enough....no mas.....stop. I have felt like crap and all I want to do is sleep. Meanwhile, I have crossed over the "4 months until I am 40" threshold and I haven't seen the treadmill in over a week. The weather is getting nice, I should be out on the road, racking up the miles. Instead, I am laying in bed, searching for "hatchling" eggs on that stupid facebook app. I gotta get it in gear. It's not looking good for the "half" on memorial day. I am sure I will have no problem with the Patriot's Day 5 miler and the Mother's Day 5K will be a breeze. Hell, I should even be fine for B2B, but a half....I don't think I am even close to ready. So, what's an aging harrier to do? Find another race a little later in the summer, that's what! I have to be honest with myself. I am hell bent on doing a half to celebrate my passage into "40 and Fabulous" but I am a realist too. I just don't have the miles under my belt to get a half done by Memorial Day. And, I am ok with that. It's like Dory said in Finding Nemo, "just keep swimming." But, for me, it's "just keep running"
I will keep all of you (all three of you) posted when I pick my race. Waddle--Waddle

Mi Vida Loca

2009-03-31T19:49:00.002-04:00

The Parker's life is totally chaotic these days. We spend our days running to and from Play rehearsals without a minute to spare. It's completely insane. So, it got me thinking. What would we do if our kids were really overscheduled? I know families whose kids do acting, horseback riding, cheering, travel soccer and oboe lessons, all in one weekend. Please people! I don't have the strength. I have been bitching up a storm since the beginning of the rehearsals for "Gone with the Breeze" and this is just one activity. I am really glad my kids aren't big "joiners" ya know. Thank heavens for that. There's something to be said for "homebody" kids who like to stay home with Mom & Dad and watch Spongebob and ICarly. Is that wrong? I think not. Oh, I'm not worried that my kids aren't getting enough socialization, believe me, they get plenty. So, I don't feel compelled to wake up at 7:00 AM on Saturday Mornings to run the munchkins to Karate or Interpretive Dance or Future Accountants Club. I'd rather stay at home and have pancakes thanks. I think it's pretty impressive we get out of the house on Sunday for Church. Now that's important.
But to be honest, once the play has concluded, I am thinking about youth soccer for Matty. Simple, benign, non-competitive Brunswick Youth Soccer. Cup of coffee and a kindergarten soccer game on brisk fall morning would be rather relaxing. And it would be a good way for Matty to work out his excess energy. It's just important that we don't let him get too good. I don't want him on one of those ridiculous travel teams that are like a second full time job. Is that wrong? I think not.

The School Play.....the countdown continues

2009-03-29T17:32:00.002-04:00

Only six days until the children of St. John's School take the stage in this year's production of "Gone with the Breeze." A madcap, lighthearted comedy in two acts. Michaela, our 14 year old has a one of the leading roles and Kayleigh, is making her theatrical debut in the role of "Pageant Girl." The whole thing is all very exciting.............and......exhausting. Mark is the technical director of this year's play (again!) and is working his butt off. Between rehearsals and set building sessions, I haven't seen most of my family in weeks. So, although I am looking forward to the big debut, I am anxious for it to be over so we can all get back together and things can get back to normal. I wonder what we will do with all the extra time. I know Matty will be happy to get his sisters back. And, I can't wait to get my hubby back :-)
So, at 7:00 PM on Friday night, the lights in the church basement will dim and the show will go on. I can hardly wait to see my munchkins sing and dance. I will be so proud. But the person I am most proud of, is Mark. He has given so much of his time to this thing, I am in awe of his commitment. Of course, he's a bit attention needy and we will need to ooh and aaaahhh over the sets and props so he can feel validated for all his hard work. That, I will gladly do, because he's a rock star in my book.

Drinking!

2009-03-21T13:24:00.002-04:00

This is always an amusing topic and I find myself thinking about drinking today. Not thinking about having a drink, rather how people behave when they drink. Because last night, I took my sister in law out for her 40th birthday. We had planned to have dinner, but that never really happened, because we had drinking on the agenda and that was really the primary focus of our sojourn. We started out at the Wild Rover Pub in Manch Vegas. Now, I haven't been to the Rover since 1994 but the place hasn't changed one iota. Same smelly bathrooms, same wood floor covered with peanut shells, same bartender. Same Bartender? Good god, this guys been serving drinks in the same smelly gin mill for 15 years, holy crap. Talk about commitment. They should name the "john" after him or something. The guys a staple.
Anyway, we started at the Rover and moved on to Margarita's after that for.......you guessed it.....Margaritas. After a couple of rounds with Senor Patron, it was back to the Rover to continue on. Well, I can tell you, my sister in law was lit up like a Christmas Tree, which was good because that was the objective. She's married to my brother, so she normally needs to stay sober at parties to drive him home, so now it was her turn. I can say with great confidence that she had fun and that she accomplished her mission of "tying one on" I stayed sharp for most of the evening so when we got home, Jer and Ar were sitting around having cocktails with some friends, so I had the opportunity to catch up.
But, today, I feel like crap. Very tired, and hungry and a little shaky. And I really didn't drink that much. So, it just means I am getting old and can't handle my liquor. I remember the old days, I could stay up all night partying and "carrying on" (as Nana used to say) and I could drag myself out of bed the next day and work a double shift only to go out after work and do it all over again. Nowadays, if I have more than a couple of glasses of wine, I am totally shot. So I really am getting old in some ways. But that's ok, it's Gods way of telling me not to drink like a fool at my age, because there's a price to pay. (he's so smart)
I did get up this morning and go for a 4.5 mile run so that helped the situation, although I had to drink two bottles of water to get through it. So the question remains, why do we drink? If the enjoyment is so fleeting and the payback is a bitch, why have a cocktail at all? Wouldn't we all be better off if we just had an Ovaltine? I suppose, but that's not how we're wired. We want to have a drink to relax, to blow off steam, to forget, to celebrate, we don't even need a reason. And it's pretty freaking fun........every once in a while. So, I suppose if you know the price and you do a quick risk and reward scenario and your still reaching for the Corona--you should enjoy it. That's what I do......Now where is that bottle of Chardonnay?

Intervention!

2009-03-19T20:33:00.003-04:00

I think I have mentioned before how much I enjoy the show Intervention on A & E. If you don't watch this program, I highly recommend it. The premise is this; they convince some individual in the throes of serious addiction to participate in a documentary about their "issues" Usually the participants are pretty close to hitting bottom in whatever their drug of choice may be. What this person doesn't know is that their family is planning an intervention to try to get them to get into treatment. So for the first 45 minutes of the show, you watch this living breathing train wreck chug alcohol until they are barely breathing, shoot heroin, smoke meth or even huff canned air. Then in the last 15 minutes, they show you the intervention and you find out if they got into treatment. Finally, at the end they show you or tell you if the person stayed clean. It is just awesome TV. Watching this show is like watching a car accident, you can't turn away but you can't believe what you are seeing. The kooky girl huffing the canned air was the most whacked. She would go to the local Office Max and pick up a case of "dust off" and then sit in her living room doing hits of canned air. And after she huffed, she started speaking in tongues and stuff. Bizarre. The good news is, she got clean and sober and stayed that way. Not so for Cristy, the meth smoking stripper who lived in squallor and treated her entire family like garbage because she was so wasted all the time. Or the little southern woman who drank dozens of little nips of vodka each day. All I could think was, why not buy a gallon, ya know? But anyway, she got clean too. So bravo to her.
Why do I watch? Because it allows you to peer into another side of society. You see the demons that face the human race and I think I gain a better understanding of the shit that people are up against. The problem is, the drama is so raw and real, you can't help feeling so sorry for these people. I found myself praying for Christy the meth-head at church the other day. Go figure. So, if you ain't watching, I highly recommend it.
hey, wasn't this blog supposed to be about my half marathon quest.....
don't worry folks, I am still on the training plan, it's just not as much fun to talk about as canned air junkies. Am I right?

A bad mommy moment.....and then....redemption.

2009-03-15T15:50:00.002-04:00

I am a bit concerned about my memory lately. Sure, I can still remember every line to the movie "Airplane" and the song "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant." But, when it comes to day to day life, it seems I can't remember anything and I seem to be getting things really wrong lately. My brain is not working properly, that's for sure. This was evidenced by a horrifying "bad mommy moment" that i had earlier today. In the interest of therapy and hopefully to inspire others, I am going to share my story with you fine people.
Three weeks ago, Matthew, my 5 year old received an invitation for his "bestest friend" Weston Cooper's birthday party. The invitation was an "evite" ya know one of those cool online invitations that you just respond online and say you are coming? So, that's what we did. We responded in the affirmative and went on with our lives.
About a week ago, I went back into the evite website to confirm the party and to forward the evite to my cell phone so that I would have all the details saved on the blackberry. I felt so hip and cool (it's all I got people!) Yesterday, we went shopping and bought Weston some really cool Lego's and Matty and I wrapped the gift with significant flourish. This morning, Matty woke up and I even managed to get him into the tub with minimal argument because he was looking forward to Weston's party.
After church, Matty and I got in the car, ready to head west to Lisbon for the party. That's when it happened. I looked at my cell phone. Just to confirm the party time and place. That's when my heart sank. That's when I wanted to cry. That's when I realized, the party was..........yesterday.
Heartsick, I told Matty. He was a little bummed, but he definitely took it much better than I did. He asked several questions like, "what day is the birthday party?" and "what day is today?" I think he wanted to make sure I had looked at all the angles. He probably figured, I could be getting it wrong so he better make sure. So we drove home. I was pretty upset and felt like a failure.
But, this is where being a mom is so freaking cool. When we got home, Matty asked me, "Mommy since you forgot about Weston's party and I didn't get to go, do you think I could have his Lego's?" I told him no and he said, "that's ok, then can we bake cookies." Yes. That we can do! So out came the sugar, butter, oats etc and we made a kickin batch of "Oapmeal" cookies. And Matty was happy as a clam. And he said, "this is way better than the birthday party and even though you have the forgets, I still love you."
Redemption.
Until, of course, I inevitably screw up again.
And how was your day?

Rihanna

2009-03-12T20:31:00.002-04:00

So, Rihanna is a big topic of discussion at my house lately. My girls, Kayleigh and Michaela are disgusted with Chris Brown and can't believe that Rihanna might be getting back together with him. Of course, I am right there in the discussion with them, this is an opportunity for a wonderful life lesson. Hitting is not ok, and if a man hits you once, he will likely hit you again. Yada, yada, yada, I sound like Oprah.
Today, the news came out that Chris Brown has withdrawn his name from contention for a "Kids Choice Award" which I suppose in the world of tweens and teens, this is like Brad Pitt taking his name out of Oscar contention. (Although this scenario would never happen to Brad, because Angelina would kick his ass). But anyway, THIS WAS BIG NEWS! So then the debate came up, should Nickelodeon have taken away his nomination once he was arrested, rather than waiting for him to withdraw. Yes, definitely, we all decided. Right on, consensus again. The life lessons keep humming along.
Then, my husband, foolish as he can be, remarked about a joke that he made in the car today about Rihanna, that he clearly found funny but the girls were obviously non-plussed. (I never got the details of the joke, because I was too busy getting disgusted with him for making a joke about the topic) But you know what? His stupid joke actually punctuated the life lesson. The fact that me and the girls were irritated with him and his ridiculous joke once again confirmed the gravity of such a situation. The Life Lessons are flying a mile a minute here at Parker's Nest. So what did we learn today......?????
1. Chris Brown is a scumbag
2. Rihanna is a moron if she takes him back
3. My husband who I love more than anything, makes stupid jokes that can step over the line
4. My girls are very wise and know right from wrong.

all in all---not too shabby
I wonder what we will learn from Paris Hilton tomorrow :-)

Girlfriends

2009-03-09T19:08:00.002-04:00

Girls Weekend is over for another year. I drove home from Eastover yesterday all by myself, listening to the CD my dear friend Amy made me. Halfway through "I Say a Little Prayer for You" by Dionne Warwick (what can I say, we have eclectic taste) I got to thinking about the bonds women have with each other and why they are so critical. I have a number of amazing women who have come into my life and each has had such a major impact on me and who I am.
First there's Carrie, my oldest and dearest friend. I have always joked that if I were going to become a lesbian, I would want Carrie as my longtime companion, not because she turns me on, but merely because we finish each other's sentences. We see each other maybe twice a year, but when we get together, it's like we never left each other.
There's also my friend Susan, who I don't see much any more, and that really does break my heart. We just seemed to fall away from each other a bit. But I know if I really needed her, she would be here. She was the one person who really helped me pick up the pieces after my divorce and because of her, I am a different person. Better for being her friend.
Then, you have the girls at work Kerry and Bonnie who lift me up when I am down. It's weird to be friends with someone when your the boss, but we just make it work. We have our own version of team building and it usually ends at Grittys.
There's Amy, the only person who can make me laugh harder than Carrie. It helps that their sisters. She is so freaking funny and warm and thoughtful. When I grow up, I want to be like her and be crafty and clever enough to make "party pants" for everyone. Alas, that's not my calling.
There are so many more of these strong women in the picture for me. My dear friend Kris who I share my aspirations and my faith with. We have this special bond that makes it easier to get through the day. Tracey Bayer who convinced me I was beautiful when I was having my photograph taken and beginning to waiver with self doubt. Lisa my partner in crime on the Parent's Association who always gets the joke and thinks I am the funniest PTA President ever.
Oh crap, I could go on and on. But I started to wonder why it is that we women form these bonds with each other and become so close in a way that men can't. I think it's in the genes. So after spending the weekend with 13 of my dearest friends (some whom I had just met) I can tell you that we women have something pretty special. Only this crowd would have walked with me through such trying times....
...........suave cabana boys who were not a day over 16
............losing at bingo
.............A difficult bikini wax
..............Boudoir photos (don't ask)
..............A crappy Disc Jockey
.............Striptease dance class
..............Pelvic Floor Issues
................psychic readings
we laughed and hugged and had a fantastic time through it all because of the spirit of these strong and fabulous women. Of course......the vodka may have helped too, particularly with the bikini wax.

The countdown continues

2009-03-02T21:39:00.002-05:00

Those of you who read this drivel on a regular basis have already heard about Girls Weekend and you know that I am really excited for it. Well folks, the time has come, Girls Weekend 2009 is only 4 short days away and I can't wait! I am more excited for GW09 this year than I have ever been. I think it's because it has been such a tough year. Between the economy, minor medical crises, family upheaval and work stress, I am sooooooooo ready to blow off some steam. And Eastover's Girls Weekend Away is the best way I know to do just that. Let me take you through the weekend's festivities so you too can appreciate the foolishness. It's important to understand that Eastover (or EO as we affectionately call it) is an "old timey" resort in Western Mass. It has a certain 1960's in the Catskills feel to it. It truly does remind me of Kellerman's. (You Dirty Dancing fans are getting that reference). During GW, the resort is open to women only, over 21 and all the activities are geared toward a fun girls weekend away. The resort is BYOB, so you can bring whatever you like to drink and it is socially acceptable to drink at any time. We start the weekend with Friday Happy Hour and Karaoke which is always a hoot. Then it's off to dinner in the dining room. The food at EO is mediocre to say the least, so it's best to stick with the salad bar and the pasta, anything else is a risk. But it doesn't really matter, we don't come for the food. After dinner, it's back to the "Heritage Club" for more revelry and dancing. There's also a "passion Party" where you can see all the latest in "marital aids." Always a riot.
Saturday always starts for us with Breakfast and then right on down to Bingo and bloody mary's. It's nice when the table of Octogenarians celebrating Myrtles' 80th birthday get angry with the Bingo caller and yell "Shake your balls" It happens every year.
Saturday is all about rest, relaxation, maybe a spa appointment or a nap. But at 4:00 PM on Saturday, we head on over to the Tally Ho club for "Striptease dance class" OMG. This is ridiculous. But it's the only exercise class I have ever been to where it is socially acceptable to bring a bottle of merlot. Now that's my kind of exercise! After Strip class, it's back up to the room for cocktails and laughs with the girls. Then Dinner and the scavenger hunt. Finally, dancing at the tally ho, where all the drunk women show off their striptease dance class moves.........poorly. Around 2 am, it's time to break into the indoor pool for a midnight swim. It's the best time to work out our synchronized swimming routine.

Sunday morning, is usually a final chance to have breakfast, hug, kiss, remember the laughs and then we all go our separate ways. Of course, the 5 hour ride home is filled with cell phone calls back and forth between cars as we slowly begin to remember foggy memories from the night before and we laugh all over again. The weekend is too short, and as soon as we get home, we start counting the days until next year when we get together and do it again.

Why do I live in Maine?

2009-03-01T15:40:00.002-05:00

This is a question I ask myself more and more these days. It seems like it has been snowing here since, oh, I don't know, November. When I wake up in the morning and turn on the local news, I inevitably say out loud, why do I live here?
Let's run it down shall we?
Reasons not to live in Maine
1. I am 2 hours from my mom & dad (too far)
2. Maine is one of the most liberal states in the nation and is bordering on a socialist state.
3. Maine gets way too much snow (I like about 1 month of winter and then I am done)
4. I am way too far from a good New York Deli
5. My dear friend Carrie is 5 hours away
6. My kids are still wearing turtlenecks in May
7. I have to remortgage the house every year just to pay the plow guy
8. I am 2 hours north of ....let's see....mmmm....oh yeah, just about everything

Reasons to live in Maine
1. My daughter's dad lives in Maine

So, that's it, that's the reason I live in Maine. Kayleigh sees her dad every weekend and every other week during the summer. And, that is so important. She has a great relationship with her dad and I think it's critical that she maintains that. So, I guess I am stuck here.
But when she turns 18........The Parker's are headed south baby. Only 9 more years to go.
there you go.

It's Super Jill!!!!

2009-02-28T08:01:00.002-05:00

Last night, I worked late. I didn't leave work until about 7:00 and it had been a really crappy week. My friend Kris and I decided to go out for a glass of wine since we were both a bit frazzled from the week. At about 8:30, I headed out of Lewiston for home. It was pouring rain so the ride was a little slow going. There were these huge puddles because of the snow banks on the side of the road, so the rain had nowhere to go. I decided to take a different way home last night because I figured the side roads would be really awful, better to take the main road.
I had just called Mark to tell him that I was on my way home. I was listening to "piano jazz' on the radio (don't ask me why- I never listen to piano jazz) and I really wasn't thinking about anything when all of a sudden the car in front of me slammed on the brakes.
I hit the brakes and slowed way down and then I saw them. Two adorable basset hounds running down the middle of the busy road. There was now a line of 10 cars that had slowed down since these dogs were running all over the road. I pulled over along with two other cars, the rest of the cars still backed up behind us. I got out and called the dogs and they came running to me. I immediately put them in the jeep and smiled at every driver who now drove by and glared at me, thinking they were my dogs and that I had caused this traffic snafu. The woman in the car in front of me came walking over and asked me if I needed help with finding their owners. I told her I was fine and that I was going to go to a parking lot where I could check their tags and see where they belonged. Meanwhile "Marley" (that's what the tag said) and his pal (no tag) were romping about my jeep, soaking wet.
After getting to a safe spot, I checked Marley's tag and called the phone number listed. It rolled right to the answering machine, so I called Mark and asked him to "mapquest" the address so I could find it. It turns out these little wet smelly hounds were about a mile from home. I drove to the street (aided by my personal gps -mark) and as I turned down their street, I saw a truck driving by and I heard the woman yelling for "Marley." I pulled over and yelled out that I had them. Well, you know what happened next, a tearfilled family reunion. Apparently my furry friends had somehow gotten out of the backyard. Their owners said they had never gotten out before so they knew they would be in a lot of danger. (Running down 196 on a rainy Friday night-yup that's danger)
As I got back on the road to head home, I felt like a superhero! This one 30 minute episode totally changed my perspective on the week. What a great way to end the week. Sure, the jeep still smells like wet dog but who cares? I am still basking in the warmth of my "good samaritan" effort. It feels great!

A journey of self discovery

2009-02-21T19:41:00.002-05:00

I have been really introspective lately( hence, my silly blog). I think it's the impending 40th birthday that has got me on this journey of self discovery. I am revisiting topics that I thought I understood but clearly didn't in an effort to figure out who I want to be. Now, don't worry I am not going to go out and join the peace corps or start walking the earth like Cane on Kung Fu. I am just spending a great deal more time with myself. I am also spending a lot more time with Jesus too. I have started going to church again and I have even joined a six week prayer group for lent. I realized that I don't know much about "my church" and I really am interested in learning more. I also feel in these uncertain times, that my faith is helping me to cope.

My 5 year old asked me at dinner tonight, "mommy what was your first job?" I told him I had a job as a dishwasher (at that fine restaurant Jake Copley's). Like any good five year old would, he then asked me about my second job and my third job, etc, etc. I found myself reviewing my entire employment history over Pork Tenderloin with a 5 year old. It felt like a job interview. But it made me realize that I have been many things in my life. I have been a dishwasher, a shoe salesperson (the perks at Thom McAn were sweet), a waitress, an office assistant, a telemarketer (ugh!), a collector, a manager, a senior manager, A senior vice president and on and on. But that's not really what defines me. If I go back through my "careers" I really have been a social butterfly, a schmoozer, a communicator, a coach, a teacher, an organizer, a planner etc. Then I look at my life and think actually I have been a talker, a flirt, a partier, a girlfriend, a wife, a mother, a volunteer, a steward, a daughter, a sister and a friend. And I am adding to that list, "an active catholic." That's something I haven't been in a long time and I am really enjoying it. Be sure to pray for the people in my prayer group....oh wait, you won't have to, we'll do it ourselves. God Bless

Jilly's Doggie Retraction

2009-02-19T17:40:00.002-05:00

Well, now I feel really bad. It turns out Putty truly is sick and not just being his usual neurotic self. He woke up this morning and appeared to be having muscle spasms in his right shoulder. He was also still really listless. So, I called the vet first thing and we took him in. Now, I find veterinary care fascinating. It appears that animal illnesses are much harder to diagnose and often vets will treat what they "think it might" be rather than subjecting the pet (and their owner's wallet) to many costly tests. If you or me were having muscle spasms and difficulty getting around, you can be sure we would have every test imaginable to find out what was wrong. But, with a dog, it's more of a crap shoot. And, since your paying out of pocket, the vet is usually less likely to order tests because they are concerned about the cost.
Of course, when your pet is a member of the family like ours, we authorized all the tests. We still walked out of there with a very fuzzy diagnosis and a whole bunch of medication. And my wallet was $431 lighter ---OUCH!
It appears that Putty may have an infection under the skin on his right shoulder called "Cellulitis." It's obvious he has some type of growth in that area, but they really can't tell what it is without surgery and that would be 'crazy expensive' So, we are going to treat it with antibiotics and pain meds and see what happens.
So, now I'm broke, my dog is high on the equivalent of doggie Oxycontin, I still don't know what's wrong with him and I feel like a heel for joking about him being so pathetic in my last blog.
I need to do pennance or something. Pray for Putty and me too.....:-)

Dogs!!!

2009-02-18T09:48:00.002-05:00

We have a beagle. An adorable cutie patooty beagle named Putty. Well, Putty has been really out of sorts since our Alpha Male (Mark) went off to Oklahoma City and left the Parker "Pack" behind. I had hoped that Putty would step up to lead the pack in his absence, but to be honest, the little guy has just fallen apart. He's in a deep depression and it's clear that he needs so doggie Zoloft or something because he really is a mess. When he's not sleeping, he's sitting by the mud room door staring at it, like he's waiting for Mark to come in. Last night he slept on Mark's pillow and kept me up with whining and sighing ALL NIGHT LONG! He was whimpering like a baby. I actually stayed up with him from 1:00 AM to 3:00 AM thinking there was something wrong with him. Then I figured out, he's just experiencing separation anxiety since Mark is missing from the pack. I don't have the heart to tell him that Mark's going to be gone until Thursday. I am afraid he will have a complete breakdown. I think we may need to get him some therapy in the meantime.

Missing Marker

2009-02-17T21:17:00.003-05:00

Hubby is out of town for several days in Oklahoma City visiting high schools with our 8th grader. She will likely be going to school out there next year, so we are in search of a good private catholic school for her. He left yesterday and I am already going out of my head missing him. Last night, my mom was here so she kept me occupied, but tonight it's just me and the kiddos and I am already going kooky. It's funny, we have been apart on numerous occasions for a few days at a time since we got married, but it's usually me who is going away and he is stuck at home with the kids. Now I know why he always wanted to have these long phone conversations when I call him from business trips and conferences. It is really boring being alone with the kids. Sure we fingerpainted today and played Mario Kart. I worked for most of the day but still I had noone to talk to and I was bored to tears. I have played seventeen games of online yahtzee and finished a book too. When you don't have another adult to talk to, it's really difficult. So, all I can say is babe, I have developed all new respect for you. I am sorry that I leave you alone with these children so often and I will try to do it less in the future. I miss you terribly and can't wait for you to come home.
J

The Ultimate IPOD Playlist

2009-02-15T15:25:00.003-05:00

Miraculously, I have been able to get out and run, not once, but twice this weekend. Sure, it was cold (27 degrees brrrrr) but to get out and get some fresh air on a sunny, albeit chilly Saturday in February is altogether something special. I bundled up the layers, charged up the IPOD and headed out. So, while I was ambling through Bowdoinham, I got to thinking about the songs on my ipod. Those of you who spend time on Facebook know that I have already declared "It Takes Two" by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock one of the greatest running songs of all time. But, there's more to the story. When you think of it, the songs on the ipod are the soundtrack of your life. There are tunes that bring you right back to a certain place and time as if it were yesterday. I have had the chance to glance at other people's Ipods and it never ceases to amaze me what an eclectic mix of music most people have. I love seeing someone who has a playlist with Megadeth and Manilow back to back. That's my kinda music fan. Anyone who can appreciate Guns and Roses along with Neil Diamond gets the point of the music. It's about place and time. A memory of something great, or horrible, or romantic or heartbreaking. Whatever it is, the song always takes us back. Armed with this self realization (all in a 45 minute run) I came back and immediately started to think of what my soundtrack would be. If they ever decided to produce, "Jill Parker, the Musical" what songs would be on the soundtrack? Here's what I came up with.

1. Crocodile Rock--I remember hearing this song as a kid and thinking it was really cool. (Age 6--just figuring out what Music could do)
2. The Night Chicago Died--It was on a K-Tel "Believe in Music" Album my parents had and I loved it! (Age 10)
3. You Shook Me All Night Long--My first real makeout session was to this song, with Scott Evans at Shelley Wolfe's Birthday Party. No offense to Dr. Evans, but he was a sloppy kisser. (Age 12)
4. This Christmas I Spend with You- This was a Robert Goulet song on the greatest Holiday Album ever. (This is the soundtrack to every christmas of my childhood)
5. Wide Awake in America by U2- Shelffo and I listened to this song every morning in the skyfart on the way to High School
6. Sweet Caroline- Sung way too many drunken nights in College at Maggie's Bar at Syracuse. Explains why I never finished.
7. Island by Jimmy Buffett- I spent the summers after college at "Great Woods" in Massachusetts for the Annual Labor Day Weekend Show
8. Friends in Low Places- This kind of explains my first marriage
9. At Last- This really explains my second marriage (and it was my wedding song)
10. Start the Commotion by the WiseGuys--This was the pinnacle of my Beach 2 Beacon Playlist when I ran my first 10K and proved that I could be a runner
11. Everything- By Michael Buble--Says it all about where I am in my relationship with my husband
12. AM Radio by Everclear--A favorite sing along song for the Parker's (my kids love this song, especially my five year old.)
13. Don't Worry Bout a Thing--By Shedaisy. This is the quintissential song for my life right now.

So how bout you? What's on your playlist? Is it the soundtrack to your life? Mine sure is.
Come to think of it, I think there's a few others I need to download.
J

It's 7:30 on a Friday Night.......

2009-02-13T19:51:00.003-05:00

I was just on facebook, chatting with a few folks. Caught up with an old friend a bit. Checking out some new pictures someone posted. Then I noticed that under the "What are you doing right now?" question, a friend had posted..."I am ready for bed at 7:30 on a FridayNight" or something to that effect. Within minutes, three other women, all working moms chimed in with "I hear you" and "I Know, I'm exhausted too." It's amazing that the first woman made one comment and instantly, we had a Quorum. Ya know why? Because we are all freaking pooped. Sleep is now a premium and without the requisite number of hours, we just struggle to function. We struggle, but we do it.
But remember when........
We used to be cool and hip, drinking cosmos with our girlfriends on a Friday night. Now we are lucky if we down a Mich Ultra with our leftover mac and cheese right out of the pan.
What the hell happened? How did we let ourselves get this way? I'll tell ya how. It's those damn kids. They suck the energy right out of you. It's a constant barrage of "Mama, can I have" It's dishes in the sink. It's somebody feed the dog. It's where the heck's my permission slip. All of that is exhausting. Throw on top of that some gainful employment outside the home and lord help me.
But, to be honest, we wouldn't trade it for anything. What we gave up in happy hours at some club, we make up for in happy hours at the school play, or playing super mario Kart on game cube. Still, once in a while, it would be nice if we could stay up past 8 on a Friday night and maybe have a cosmo or two with the girls. I think I need to make that a goal. Whose with me?

Valentine's Day

2009-02-12T20:15:00.003-05:00

So, the V-Day holiday is upon us and that is always a big bone of contention in the Parker house. Why? Why, when two people are so clearly madly in love would a romantic holiday such as this one cause such stress and strife you ask? Well, that's a hard question to answer. You see, I love holidays like Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays, Arbor Day, Secretary's Day, Sweetest Day etc. I love any excuse to tell the people you care about, just how much you care about them. I am one of those people who loves to see the look on someone's face when they read a card or receive a gift that comes from the heart. It gives me a lot of joy. I also like when people are surprised by a small token that happens on these types of special days. For example, I just finished writing out "Spongebob Squarepants" Valentine Cards for all the people at the office. I am sure the VP of Accounting is going to love her card and candy "crabby patty." And when your in your 30's and 40's you probably don't get too many valentines so I am hoping it brings a smile to people's faces in an otherwise dreary day. (and believe me we have had some dreary ones lately. )
So what's Marker Parker's problem with the Valentine's Day Holiday? I believe it's a combination of things. First, there is the fiscal aspect. A dozen roses for your beautiful and enchanting wife will cost you about 30 bucks any day of the year, but in the run up to cupid's day, they jack up the price about 200%. And you all know my man is extraordinarily cheap so it's tough for him to pull the trigger on such a frivolous expense. Second, I think he gets jammed up by the expectation. It's one of those Hallmark holidays that marketers create in order to create expectation among women and force men to buy cards, chocolate and flowers. Third and finally, he doesn't like to be told he has to do anything, so this massive ridiculous marketing guilt barrage that he receives from television, radio, my kids and maybe me just makes him want to dig his heels in even further.
But here's the rub. I love cards and flowers and thoughtful notes and romance and all that silly girly stuff. And it really doesn't have to happen on this particular day. So I could get on board with his position on this holiday if perhaps I was receiving flowers, cards, a tic tac or something on other days of the year, but that's not really his thing either. So, here we sit.....the dreaded holiday is upon us.
And, I for one am going to celebrate. Celebrate my friendships, my marriage, my family etc. And for the first time, I am letting Mark off the hook. It's not about this day. It's about every day. And I love him more every day. (just pick me a daisy once in awhile ok?) Besides, I am on weight watchers and I can't eat chocolate anyway.

Facebook

2009-02-10T19:46:00.002-05:00

I am finally starting to feel better. My husband fired up the humidifier in our room last night and it was downright tropical in our bedroom. I felt like I was in the Congo or something, but, it surely worked because the congestion seems to be clearing and I can finally hold my head up for longer than a few minutes. Thank Goodness! So, on to other things. Since I had to "take to my bed" due to illness ,I have been unable to train. And though I have missed the treadmill greatly (not!) I have had plenty of quality time with my good friend, FACEBOOK. After wasting hours on this thing for the last several days, I can truly say that FACEBOOK really does bring people together in so many ways. I have outlined some of them for you here so you can see how wonderful (and miraculously random) Facebook is....

1. I have started up a wonderful renewed friendship with one of my dear friends from high school who has long sinced moved south the warmer weather (bitch.) But seriously, it's amazing how much we still have in common since we have both changed so much. We share a love of distance running, family and the tv show, "Intervention" Weird
2. I now talk to my brother more than I ever did before. We never speak on the phone (i hate the telephone) so we only catch up when we get together at Jer and Ar's for holidays and such. Now I know what he's doing most weekends and I get to see pictures of his adorable kids on a regular basis "BONUS"
3. I have connected with many old high school friends and some of their memories make me chuckle. For instance, one of my jr. high boyfriends was kind enough to remind me of the time that he "felt me up" in the 7th grade. Now that's just a hoot.
4. I have found other common ground as well. I have joined some great Facebook groups such as the "Moms who sometimes have to go out with their girlfriends and drink Secret Society" and the "I'm addicted Intervention" group. How fabulous is that?
5. And finally, my husband is enjoying Facebook too. Last night, as we sat next to each other on the bed, almost touching. He lovingly posted a message asking me for a bowl of ice cream. How romantic! I can't wait to see what he posts on my wall for valentine's day :-)

But seriously, I really am loving Facebook. Sure, it's a humongous time sponge and a colossal waste of energy, but what else am I going to do? Cook nutritious meals for my family, talk to my kids about their day? I think not. (just kidding)
Gotta go, I think I need to post a group message for my friends in the "Billy Mays Why are you Yelling At Me" Support Group.
Have a good one.
J

Cough Due to Cold......Can you OD on Nyquil?

2009-02-07T19:20:00.003-05:00

I have a cold. A nasty, phleghmy, disgusting cold. I feel achy and tired and just want to sleep. So, last night, I took a nice double shot of Nyquil and had just fallen asleep when the phone rang. It was work. A call from work at 9:30 Pm on a Friday night is never a good thing. Apparently, there were "technical issues" on second shift. Now, I am usually very responsive to these types of things, but when you are working the Nyquil haze, it's hard to be articulate and make key decisions. I was a total moron on the phone. It took me about 10 freaking minutes to figure out what they were telling me and probably another 10 minutes to figure out who I was talking to. When I finally got the message of what was going on, somehow, I pulled the solution out of my ass and saved the day despite my medicinal impediment. I am quite proud of myself. But this morning, I actually had a bit of a Nyquil hangover where I had to ask myself......."did that really happen or did I dream it." Consider yourself warned. That Nyquil is heavy duty stuff.
Have I mentioned that I haven't been on the treadmill in 3 days? My training plan is on hiatus until I can kick this cold. Maybe a bit more Nyquil is in order......hmmmmm.

Who loves ya?

2009-02-05T19:10:00.004-05:00

Last night, at my children's school we attended a Prayer Service and Spaghetti Dinner. Obviously, my kids go to Catholic School, because if it was public school, we wouldn't be praying, we would be meditating or something silly like that. Anyway, at the prayer service, they had the children present their families with letters thanking their parents for all they do. Well, our letter from our nine year old made me laugh and cry all at the same time. She thanked me for "making cookies" and "giving her breaks from her little brother." She also thanked me for being patient. But she was most thankful for the fact that I "let her take long showers." Wow, that's random. She thanked Mark for challenging her to do things that may be scary and for being tough on her about her homework.
This letter was a revelation for me, because it dawned on me that kids really appreciate the big things and little things that you do and nothing is insignificant to them. I started to think about this as the prayer service continued and I admit, I started to get pretty emotional. Then, they called each of the families up one at a time so Father Sheehan could "bless the family" It was really special and reminded me how lucky I am, despite any challenges I might have. This made me realize that I am already truly blessed and I need to remember that rather than dwelling on the negative. So that's what I'm gonna do. every day.

Punxatawney Phil---I curse your name.

2009-02-02T21:17:00.002-05:00

Yup, the little rat saw his shadow this morning, and you know what that means? Six more weeks of winter. Ugh! Has the diminutive little bastard ever not seen his shadow? I doubt it. Big wimp.
Now, living in Maine, I am used to winter, don't like it, but I'm used to it. The problem is (why, oh why, is there always a problem) I am trying to train for a half marathon here people. And......I have this love/hate relationship with my treadmill. It's what one might call, a necessary evil. I need to run at least four times a week to stay on pace with my training plan. I would love to run outside, but it's just not safe. There's six feet of snow on each side of the road. This just makes for a dangerous situation. I live in a pretty rural area so the local yokels drive down the road pretty fast. I'd hate to become a statistic and not live to see my fourtieth birthday just cause "Wilbur" picked me off in his pickup on the way to the ice fishing derby ya know?
So that means I need to embrace the treadmill as best I can. But I really do feel like a hamster on a wheel. I would really prefer to run outside, where I can check out other people's houses while I run and wonder what kind of freaky deaky stuff goes on inside. (oh, you know you do it too) But, according to one ornery little vermin in Pennsylvania, my dreams of running outdoors will have to wait a while longer, like six weeks. bastard.

Freaking Groceries

2009-01-31T15:04:00.002-05:00

I just came back from the grocery store and I am thoroughly disgusted. First of all, you should know, I love grocery shopping. It's one of my favorite things to do. I prefer to do it without my five year old in tow, but what can you do? Daddy's working today so Matty and I were on a grocery mission together. Now, to prepare for my trip to Hannaford (that's my store) I always go over the online circular with a fine tooth comb and determine what's on sale. I then make my list on an excel spreadsheet that is separated by sections so the list is organized in the same order as the store.
Then, I do a second review to determine if I have any corresponding coupons or special offers. I usually save about $10 a week in coupons, so I think it's worth it. Once I have given the list the final review, I head to the store, ready for some fun. (I am what you might call, a grocery geek)

So, based on what I've just told you, why would I be disgusted? Why? Because I swear to god, the price of everything just keeps going up and up and up. Those of you who read this blog know that I am trying to reduce my cholesterol. In order to do that, I have to buy fresh foods, primarily lean protein, fresh veggies, dairy etc. Of course, that stuff is the most expensive. The price of vegetables is insane. I buy a lot of frozen veggies, but ya know they don't freeze lettuce, tomatoes or cukes so you have to buy them fresh(and cause their delicious) Unfortunately, if the Parkers want to have salad with dinner this week, we may need to take out a second mortgage on the house.
What pisses me off is the fact that I think they are just jacking up the prices because they can. I saw prices going up about 6 months ago as a result of rising fuel costs but it continues to climb despite the fact that fuel prices have gone down by 40%. What the hell is that? What really fries me is the fact that if I want to eat crap, I can probably do that pretty cheaply. I can eat hamburger helper, mac and cheese and hot pockets for half of what I currently spend on groceries. Of course, we'll pay for that in increased premiums and copays when we all start pushing maximum density and develop all sorts of weight related issues.
Boy am I bitter or what?
So, I guess I better clip more coupons so I can afford to be healthy.
No other choice.
Have a great weekend
Enjoy Greek Yogurt!

As seen on TV---Slim and Lift

2009-01-30T19:10:00.002-05:00

I am embarrassed to tell you about this, but hell I only know a few people who read this thing and I can trust you can't I? Anyway, I have always been a sucker for infomercials and I am not ashamed to tell you that I have an extensive collection of items purchased off the tv, most of which are related to looking better or feeling better. What I mean is, I don't have the Sham Wow! and I think Billy Mays is an idiot. I wouldn't be caught dead using the ab-lounge or purchasing the fantastic space bags, but I do have Hip Hop Abs (Shawn T. was a friend for a while) and Slim in 6. Well my latest ridiculous tv purchase was the "Slim and Lift, smooth contour garment." OK, have you seen this one. It's basically an industrial strength girdle that is supposed to allow you to go down a dress size. Now I have a lot of dresses in my closet that haven't seen the light of day in a while, so I figured the Slim and Lift might be just the answer to my wardrobe issues. I assumed that if they could stuff the girls on the infomercial into this contraption certainly we could shoehorn my fat butt into it. (Don't worry, I don't have self esteem issues, I am just honest with myself)
Well, the thing arrived last week and I can only say the Slim and Lift is not a garment, it's an instrument of pain. On the infomercial they show these women sliding on the Slim and Lift and immediately looking svelte, comfortable and full of confidence. A very different event occurred in my walk in closet on the day that the damn thing arrived. I wriggled, I hopped, I did deep knee bends, but to no avail. There was no way I was getting this thing over my "motherly" hips. After 20 minutes, I finally gave up and threw the freaking thing back in the box and shipped it back to the company.

The good news is the larger size should arrive next week. In the meantime, I think I should have some carrots and then hit the treadmill. What do you think?

Girls Weekend

2009-01-28T20:19:00.002-05:00

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to gear up for girls weekend. Several times a year, Eastover Resort in the Berkshires hold "Girls Weekend Away" No men allowed. Our little group has been going for several years now and it's always a hoot. There's a core group of about six of us and then we always have a few newbies who are recruited into the group each year. So what happens at girls weekend? I know my husband would like to imagine that we all sit around in our underwear and have pillow fights while drinking champagne in some perverted fantasy, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.
First, Eastover is not exactly the Four Seasons. It's what you might call Rustic with a certain Bates motel charm. It's a series of buildings on a sprawling piece of property so there's a lot of walking outside in the freezing cold to get where you want to go. But that's ok, because you are virtually always carrying a cocktail. I don't care if it's 8:30 in the morning, you just need to drink. The place is BYOB and it's a total scream to see all these women walking from the dining room to the horseback riding stable or the bingo hall, pulling along there little coleman coolers.

The whole weekend is filled with silly activities like Karaoke, Scavenger hunts, Tarot Card Readings, Bingo etc. Anything that can be done while still drinking a glass of merlot.
There are self help classes and group exercise, but again, that's not really the point. The closest I ever got to exercise at Eastover was Striptease class which was an absolute hoot. But the best thing about Girls Weekend is the laughs our group of ten always has. There are usually hundreds of ridiculous memorable moments (many we forget because of aforementioned merlot). So, from the home office in Lenox Mass, here are the top 5 Eastover Moments

5. When the woman who was getting ready to teach the "organize your life" seminar showed up 10 minutes late, having just had a pedicure and still walking with the toe separators in and a butt hanging out of her mouth. (Like I said, EO is a bit lowbrow)
4. When Carrie won the George M. Bisacca Woman of the Year award for her fine legal work that she does despite the fact that she has no formal legal training
3. When the 75 year old woman showed us her freshly airbrushed tattoo, consisting of a shamrock on her breast that said, "Frank's Bitch."
2. When Amy came walking into the indoor pool area rolling the cooler and wiped out and sent beer and margarita fixings flying (you had to be there)
And finally, the number one memory
1. At the end of the weekend, after I had been given the "I'm a Good Eater" Award for my voracious appetite and on the way home, I forgot I was wearing the ribbon as I ordered a Big Mac Extra Value Meal and the clerk just assumed I wanted to supersize. (Mortifying but hilarious.)

Girls Weekend is only 30 days away. And I can't wait.

ArlyDen

2009-01-27T17:31:00.002-05:00

So, today is my mom's birthday. I just spoke with her about an hour ago and the kids got on and wished her a happy birthday and all that. I think she's over the whole issue from yesterday when I didn't tell her about my heart "aches." Although she did ask if there was anything new and had to throw in, "you haven't been to the hospital today have you?" What can I say, "wiseass" runs in my family.

Anyway, my friend Suz posted a note on my wall today asking about my parents. The exact quote was, "they are the best, they always made you feel good being around them." As I think about my mom today on her birthday, Suz's comment is so right on. They are really the best. I remember when I was in high school, my friends always loved being at my house. Everybody loved Jer and Ar and they still do. I am pretty lucky.

My friend Carrie's mom is currently in the hospital and we are all praying for her. Carrie's mom "Mare" was another mom in High School that we all loved to be around. She was funny and smart and when you went to Carrie's it was so fun to sit on the couch with Mare and BS. She was and still is a howl. All the best Mare, we're sending a lot of word up to the "big guy" to watch over you.

What can I say, another heavy blog post, I guess I am just way to freaking introspective these days. So, here's the final word
Happy Birthday ArlyDen
Get Well Mare
Lighten Up Jilly!

Six Degrees of Separation--the jig is up

2009-01-26T20:01:00.003-05:00

So, I neglected to mention to my parents that I had some health issues last week. I just didn't want them to needlessly worry and with everything going on I figured they didn't need to worry about me and my sluggish thyroid. Now, this sounded like a good idea at the time but then, like a jackass, I told all you people about my trips to the doctor on my blog. To be honest, I didn't think anyone really read this thing so I didn't give it a second thought.
BOY was I wrong! You see, this weekend, I made lots of new friends on Facebook, including my cousin in Long Island (Shout out to Christy). Well, Christy read the Facebook page, followed the link, read the blog. Being the Barbara Walters of Nassau County, she then called her mother, my Aunt Linda to report my medical concerns, who promptly called my father to ask "How's Jill?"
As you can imagine, Dad's response was, "What are you talking about?" And,,,,,,,we're off to the races. I am now in the doghouse with Mom & Dad and I have a sluggish thyroid. Oopsie.
The power of the internet is awfully creepy.
And how was your day?

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone......

2009-01-25T18:14:00.003-05:00

So, anyone who reads this blog (all two of you) know that I have been in a pretty big funk lately, but today, I had a moment of clarity, alas I am not giving up dirty martini's just yet, but I will borrow from the Alcoholic's Anonymous mantra when I say I am embracing the following sentiment
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can."

The second mantra I am embracing is this one.....LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

During the past several months I have seen and heard of many of my friends and family dealing with potentially life threatening illnesses, psyche altering personal tragedies, and just plain yucky crap. Yet, through it all, people seem to prevail. So, as I think about my own current personal challenges (and I have a list it seems) I have to ask myself, what does it really add up to? Inconveniences? yup. Annoyances? ubetcha! Irritations? hell yes! But nothing that I can't deal with by understanding that I have to "control what I can control" and allow others to do the same.

I was on the phone with my best friend Carrie today, which always puts me in a good mood. And we were chatting about this woman at Smith College who was giving a talk about the fact the Darth Vader and the Disney Princesses are ruining the minds of our children. Apparently this lovely woman, who is a PHD seems to believe these "minions of doom" are contributing to "compassion deficit disorder" (that's right, it's now got a label) and "premature adolescent rebellion." Now, I think Ariel (the Little Mermaid's) boobs are a little much for a disney film, but I can't subscribe to the notion that she's driving our children to a life of aggression or anti-social behavior. C'mon, it's the little mermaid for crying out loud. And Darth Vader, man that's James Earl Jones for the love of Pete. How could he possibly be poisoning the mind of my 9 year old.

So what's the second part got to do with the first part? I feel a segue coming on, follow along.....
Someone needs to give the honorable doctor Diane Levin PHD, a copy of the AA creed. Focus on what you can control Levin. Your own kids and don't worry about the rest of the kids, we'll take care of our own thanks. Needless to say Carrie and I won't be signing up for the talk, but we would LOVE to see the folks who actually do show up for this one. Carrie indicated it's probably the same woman from Kindergarten registration who was breastfeeding her 5 year old and raised her hand to say, "Wait, wait wait, you mean they have to be potty trained before they can start kindergarten." (You can't make this stuff up folks.)

OK, I have gone way off track here. My train of thought has clearly derailed. That being said, from now on, I am going to focus on controlling what I can control and leave the rest to others. I think I can save myself from a lot of frustration and heartache along the way.

Peace out
J

Crossroads--not just a Clapton Song

2009-01-24T13:03:00.002-05:00

There are times in a person's life when they reach a major crossroads. And I am not talking about a "should I buy the storebrand or the Sara Lee Deli ham?" kind of crossroads. I am talking about a major, life altering event that will have repercussions for years to come. Now, I am a firm believer in the "everything happens for a reason" credo and I think that sometimes bad things happen so that great things may follow. Therefore, I am viewing my current work/life/health situation as an opportunity and a challenge rather than a burden.

I look at it this way, I have a fantastic husband who rocks my world, three great kids (who drive me insane), good friends, great family and a strong belief in God that will get me through anything that life dishes out. I think about my friend Amanda, whose 3 and 1/2 year old daughter was just diagnosed with a brain tumor. I know that her faith will guide her as she deals with the next harrowing weeks, months and maybe even years. She will be supported by the positive things in her life to get her through such a difficult time. For some odd reason, that gives me comfort as I deal with issues that in comparison to Amanda's challenges, seem so freaking trivial. God gives us only what we can handle and often times on the other side of the storm there's bright sunshine and peace. I pray that Amanda finds that. I pray that I find it too.

It's all good! OK, it's all mediocre.....

2009-01-23T09:44:00.002-05:00

Another day, another trip to the doctor. More blood tests, this time sugar and thyroid. Good lord. I feel like a heroin junkie. I think I have track marks. Oh well, the bottom line is "get busy living or get busy dying." I am under strict doctor's orders to lose weight, get fit, and generally give up all my current vices, except red wine I can still have red wine. yay! So no more Marlboros or Oreos for me (I don't really smoke that often, so that shouldn't be a problem. The oreos on the other hand........)
I am starting to wonder if this malaise I am feeling is merely withdrawal from Margaritas. When I was in mexico, I was having several a day and then I came home and quit cold turkey. Oh, who am I kidding, it's not that. (see how I enable myself). I joined Weight Watchers Online to track my food intake. We will see how that works. I have to count my points (It was my understanding, there would be no math). I just wish it wasn't so cold out, then I could run outside. Perhaps this afternoon, I could get out there. It might reach 25 degrees. Yikes!
committed to changing
Jillyp

My heart! It's not about valentines day!

2009-01-22T12:45:00.002-05:00

A day in the emergency room. Not my idea of a perfect day. But when your heart starts to feel like it's being squeezed and you have a family history of heart trouble, you head to the er and strap in. That was my day yesterday. Blood work. Cat Scan. Stress Test. Rest easy, my ticker is fine, a bit inflamed but fine. I met with a cardiologist, the lovely Dr. McCann. She gave me the wake up call. Get fit now Jill. Or end up back on the stress test treadmill again real soon. Key objectives; lose weight, cut stress, don't smoke. Seems simple doesn't it. Ah but life is never so simple. But, I am going to heed the good doctor's advice and get serious about this stuff. I turn 40 in 196 days! My half marathon is 122 days away. The time is now. But first, a nap.......

Finally, a jog

2009-01-03T07:15:00.000-05:00

The treadmill is my friend. I finally broke into a jog last night on the treadmill and it felt really good. I did a run walk combination for 40 minutes and covered about 2.7 miles. I am not too sore today except for a little "ping" in my hips. Not too shabby.
I tried to right some culinary wrongs last night with a delicious low fat Paella with Shrimp and Chicken. It was yummy and I didn't eat a bucket full of it, so I felt pretty good.
Today, I have to put away Christmas. I swear, I am so sick of Santa, he's gotta go back into his Rubbermaid tub where he belongs until next year.
Another project for this weekend to review and try on the Cancun wardrobe (ie, shorts, tshirts and sundresses). Everything should still fit. Here's hoping.
At some point today, I intend to do at least 45 minutes on the treadmill. Come hell or high water.

Foolish choices

2009-01-02T14:48:00.000-05:00

Absolutely
No
Willpower

So, I got up this morning with the best intentions. Start the day with a nice bowl of Special K and a banana (just like all the women in Shape Magazine). One major problemo-no milk. Oh, ok, toast is good, but then I have this great semolina bread, which tastes great toasted and slathered with butter. One meal out the window.

Next, I head out to take my 5 year old for a haircut and run some errands. I promise myself that I will have a salad for lunch. Next thing you know, I am chowing down on Steak Tips and a baked potato at Longhorn. What the hell is the matter with me?
I tried on bathing suits for Cancun this morning. That was a nightmare. I look like a sausage in every single one of them. I might just be wearing that mu-mu in Mexico. You would think that would be enough to keep my hands off the sour cream, but all evidence is to the contrary.
So tonight, I am going to do 45 minutes on the treadmill and 15 minutes of yoga. At least I can keep moving even if I have the crappiest resolve on the planet.
what's a girl to do.

It's a new year! Here we go

2009-01-01T07:55:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year. It's time for resolutions, commitments and renewals. Most of which will be broken within approximately 5.2 weeks. But not this year for me baby! My 1/2 marathon quest has just begun and I have only been on the treadmill twice this week, but man, I am committed! Or perhaps I should be committed. Today, I am working on my training plan. I have a pretty significant hangover from way way way too much champagne (and a few marlboro lights) last night. Shame on me. I think that kind of behavior must serve as an inspiration. (OK, Jill, that's not what you want to do in order to achieve your goals) It's my little version of aversion therapy. God, if that isn't the world's biggest rationalization, I don't know what is.
Any-who, here I sit, on the precipice of change. The key will be not to let life get in the way. Easier said than done. Scoot, Scoot Waddle

My cookies and milk addiction

2008-12-29T20:30:00.000-05:00

Definitely not the key to my new healthy lifestyle, but I have an addiction. Every night, around 1:30 AM, I awake from a sound sleep and I am somehow energized get out of bed and to head down the stairs to kitchen for cookies and milk. Cookies. And Milk...... at 1;30 AM. If that ain't an addiction problem, I don't know what is. This thing is totally psychological, I know. I have lots of difficulty sleeping and I have tried numerous cures, melatonin, unisom, lavender on the pillow, but nothing.....and I mean nothing helps me sleep like cookies and milk.
This is clearly an issue on so many levels. Sleep issues, food issues oh dear.

So anyway, I don't think I am ready for a "cookies and milk intervention." I am just going to work around it for now. So I walked/jogged on the treadmill tonight for 35 minutes. It felt pretty good. I hadn't exercised in about a month, so it was nice to get moving. Soooooo far from my half marathon goal, but every goal has to begin with a first step. But, I am tired. That is, until, 1:30 when the oreos and milk call me.....ugh. Maybe a Unisom is in order.
J

December 27th--Giddyap

2008-12-27T08:15:00.000-05:00

Well, the holidays are over and as Spongebob Squarepants would say "I'm Ready, I'm Ready." I have registered for a half marathon in May and it cost me $50 bucks so in the interest of "fiscal responsibility," I am locked in! I am reading the book, "Running for Mortals" and I am finding the author's story compelling since it's such a similar story to mine.
Now, where to begin. As I sit here at my parent's house, thinking about eating leftover prime rib for breakfast, I realize that I need a training plan. I have been running on and off for the last year and a half, but I have not demonstrated any consistency. I have been so incredibly undisciplined when it comes to training, it's a wonder that I haven't achieved my goals. So, I think I need to start over in regards to a training plan. I need to start with a run-walk plan because I want to avoid being sidelined by injury.
Did I mention that I am going to Mexico for a vacation in 14 days? Perhaps the sight of myself in a bathing suit will inspire me? I am pushing maximum density right now so I have no business getting in a swimsuit. But, short of wearing a mu-mu, I have no choice. It's mexico for crying out loud! Whatever......

Today...........we walk....................tomorrow.........we walk........the next day..........walk again.
Follow along, it should be a hoot.
J